Elise*

Gibberish (random letters and numbers)

Too many misspelled words

Do not ask for faves or comments. Witty is not about fake internet points. It's about expressing yourself with meaningful words.

my kids: sing us a song to sleep
me: ok
me: I been drinkin….I been drinkin….

• click to see this quote •

someone: [flirts with me]

me: they are probably just being nice, they probably do this with everyone

someone: [asks me on a date]

me: it’s not a date, it’s just a friend get together thing, probably.

someone: [confesses their love for me]

me: they are probably just being sarcastic

I don’t give a damn about my reputation [LOUD GUITAR]
You’re living in the past it’s a new generation 
[LOUD GUITAR]
[SHREK ATTACKS THE KNIGHTS AT LORD FARQUAD’S CASTLE]
THE CHAIR! GIVE HIM THE CHAIR!

harry: [shouting] OR ARE YOU GIVIN IT TO SOMEONE ELSEEEE
me: [bust a nut] [faints] [dies]