It's not that I ever really had a father, my mother was
always both. Mother & father, she didn't just make the
rules but, she enforced them. even when my father was in my life
-- him trying to discipline me or my brother was always a joke -
a huge joke because, he was never there. he was never there to
sign permission slips, was never called by the principle when my
brother or i got into trouble, never taught us right from wrong,
never placed bandages on skinned knees or slept in hard hospital
chairs when we were sick or hospitalized - never. but, he was
still my father and from what i knew of him - he was a pretty
great man. never the best father but, a great man. now, he's
not here at all and he never will be again. no more hugs or
kisses, no more conversations, no more anything. this is one of
the first father's days without my dad and i can honestly say
it's one of the hardest. at least before i knew he was alive,
good, happy. I don't even know where he is or if he's
happy. Rest in peace daddy, you're missed greatly.