Joined: December 14, 2008
Last Seen: 8 years
user id: 60335

Quotes by funkyfunkyfresh

Dad   -  Eat the rest of your dinner before you leave the table please!!!

Me-   OMG If i eat any more i will get BLOATED
           THEN my stomach will S T R E C H

THEN i will wanna eat MORE ALL the time
              THEN i will get
dangerously obese
                THEN i will have no self confidence and EAT MORE for comfort
                  THEN we will run out of money from all the food i'm eating

                    THEN we will have to get McDonalds E V E R Y NIGHT
                      THEN I WILL GET DIABETES AND DIE!!!!
 Blair: Whatever you're going through, I wanna be there for you.
ChuckWe've talked about this. You are not my girlfriend
Blair: But I am me. And you are you. We're Chuck and BlairBlair and Chuck
The worst thing you've ever done,
the darkest thought you've ever had, I will stand by you through anything.
Chuck: And why would you do that.
Blair: I love you
Chuck: Well, that's too bad.
 I am not a vegetarian because I love animals...
I am a vegetarian because I hate plants
 It hurts to look at the past
cause we don't know how?
wlived without the present
 Signs That You're Too Drunk ...  

24. You lose arguments with objects.

23. You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth. 

22. Your Job is interfering with your drinking. 

21. Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream. 

20. Your career won't progress beyond Senator from Massachusetts. 

19. You sincerely believe alcohol to be the 5th food group. 

18. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence? - I think not! 

17. Two hands and just one mouth... - now that's a drinking problem! 

16. You can focus better with one eye closed. 

15. The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar. 

14. Senators Kennedy and Packwood shake their heads when they walk past you. 

13. You fall off the floor... 

12. Hey, five beers has just as many calories as a burger, forget dinner! 

11. Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you

10. At AA meetings you begin: "Hi, my name is... uh..." 

9.Your idea of cutting back is less salt. 

8.The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in... 

7.You think Three Basic Food Groups are Caffeine, Nicotine, and Alcohol.

6.Roseanne looks good. 

5.Don't recognize wife unless seen through bottom of glass. 

4.That pink elephant followed you home again. 

3.You're as jober as a sudge. 

2.You wake up screaming "TORO TORO TORO!" in the middle of the night. 

and last but not least...

1.Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops!
 Let me know when your whole life goes up in smoke. 
Means it's time for a promotion!

Things u HAVE to do in a supa-market!!!
1.Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.
5. Go to the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on layby.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti-depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, leap out and say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the foetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"

15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "go, pikachu, go!"

hope you like it <3

 And so the lion fell in love with the lamb
what a stupid lamb
what a sick masochistic lion
 I don't care if she was going to fire you
or beat you with a
 red hot poker 
you should've said no!!!
from the Devil Wears Prada