Status: Hey
Joined: September 2, 2011
Last Seen: 3 weeks
Birthday: June 27
user id: 214921
Gender: F

Quotes by gab*

pick me. choose me. love me.
     want you to make me feel like i'm
sick of my
small heart 
made of

                                                                   sick of the  
                                                              wounds that
                                                                  never heal.


i am constantly forced to choose between having friends and being myself 
I met my soulmate.
(he didn't)


           omebody's going to hurt you
           the way you love to hurt me.


we live in a world where we are encouraged to be different and unique but at the same time expected to conform and be like others in order to belong.  

"different" doesn't always need to mean "better" or "worse". sometimes different is just what it is--different. nothing more, nothing less.

i can't hide it anymore.
i am insecure. i overthink. things bother me. i am not the cool girl. i am not the girl who can just laugh it off and smile it away. i am not the low maintenenance, laid back chick where everything stays "casual". i am not the girl who doesn't need reassurance every once in a while that she's good enough because the thought that maybe she isn't never crosses her mind. sometimes things are hard with me. sometimes i have doubts. sometimes i get upset, i get jealous, i cry, i throw fits. sometimes i have desires. sometimes i have emotions. that doesn't make me crazy. sometimes i'm human. just because i can be difficult sometimes does not mean that i am not worth it.

sometimes i wish i was a boy. even if i had to be one of those 'nice guys' who never really got the girl. Even if they finish last, they still finish. because as a boy, you don't always have to be six feet tall and muscular to be the guy of a girl's dreams. in most cases, you only have to make her laugh and treat her well.

us girls have to have everything. perfect boobs, perfect cleavage, perfect butt, skinny waist, silky flowing hair that guys can run their grimy fingers through, perfect skin, a face that looks good with and without makeup. and yet at the same time we have to be "not like other girls". ANd girls like me who don't fit this criteria, who know there are better looking girls out there, who see these girls at school, on their instagram feeds, with their perfect faces and perfect bodies and the 20+ comments on their pictures and the fact that your crush has liked some of those pictures, we know that you like that and the fact that we don't look that way makes us feel that you are settling for less -- less meaning us. you tell me that my body is fine the way it is but we both know based on the girls you think are "perfect" that if you could Mess with theirs over mine, you would.

As a boy, i could look at beautiful girls and fantasize about them and wish i could get with them even if i never could. i would rather have that than look at bodies and faces that i could never own no matter how hard i tried to live up to it. As a male you have a high chance of winning eventually if you haven't yet, no matter what your background or physique. but from the male perspective, girls must be perfect. And if not, thats when guys think about flatter stomachs and curvier hips instead of yours and pick you apart with their loser guy friends and try to find every flaw when you do something wrong or you two break up.

i know there are men out there who are not like this. i know there are women out there who aren't insecure about this stuff. but from my experience, it is rare.
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