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Dignity
Chapter
One
I kissed him goodbye although it
must have been the longest goodbye kiss ever and turned to leave
but he stopped me, “Let me walk you home baby”, I just
smiled and shook my head, “It’s fine, trust me, it
isn’t far!” He just laughed, took my hand and starting
walking with me. I loved this feeling, the feeling that someone
cares about you and wants you. I only met up with him for the first
time yesterday after talking for about 2 months over Facebook but
as soon as I so him I immediately wanted him for myself.
He held my hand all the time and kept pecking my
cheek, I loved it so much. “I know a short cut baby, it goes
through a gorgeous field filled with daisies and roses; come one,
it’ll be dead romantic.” I giggled and nodded my head
so he led me away. We walked for about 5 minutes before I started
getting confused, we weren’t near a field; we were walking
behind some houses. “What happened to this field you were
talking about, this isn’t a field,” I challenged but he
reassured me, saying we are nearly there. We walked further and
further, out from behind the houses, through an old park until we
eventually started heading through a forest. I stopped and shook my
head, “I’m not going any further, and I’m going
back the other way”. He suddenly grabbed me firmly and
started whispering all these romantic things in my ear and started
kissing me passionately. I kissed back for a while until he slipped
his hand down my skirt. I pulled away but he didn’t stop.
“You know you want it baby, don’t lie to yourself, if
you love me like I love you let me.” I did love him so I let
him carry on, but things started to go slightly further as I
started to feel him. I stood my ground and said no but he just
carried on. It wasn’t nice like he said it would be, it was
rough and hurt. One hand was on my waist and the other pushed me
firmly against a tree so I couldn’t move. I tried but he was
just so strong. I started to scream but he didn’t care, no
one could hear me, we were too far into the forest.
A long time passed before he finely stopped. I
didn’t know what to say, tears were streaming down my face
and I was just too scared. He grabbed my hand and started stroking
it, he smiled at me. “Come on baby, you know you loved it,
let’s go home now ok?” I didn’t move though and
managed to get some words out.
“No…get…get...get away from me, I
don’t… I don’t love you…I hate
you!” He just laughed and said fine. He walked away without a
care in the world, he got what he wanted and he didn’t care
who he hurt. I just slid to the floor and cried. As I closed my
eyes, his evil faced pumped in my mind. I felt used, I felt
abandoned, I felt dirty, and I felt like such a slag.
Shaking, I reached into my pocket and took out
my phone. I scrolled through the contacts but I couldn’t find
anyone I felt I could call, not even my mum. I was so ashamed. I
eventually scrolled back up to ‘Jordan’, he was my ex,
I know he’s an odd person to call do but I knew I trusted
him. After five minutes of staring at his name and number I pressed
ring.
“Hello….” He had answered but for some reason I
just wished he hadn’t. I didn’t talk for about 20
second but he said hello again so I had to say something before he
hung up. “Jordan” I whispered tearfully. “Janie,
are you alright? What’s the matter?” I paused before
replying, “Come to the woods near Thornton
Park…don’t ask why, just please come, I’m near
that big tree in the middle with the rope swing”. My
breathing echoed back but I heard say ok and he hung up.
I sat there motionless until I saw him; he was
looking for me and eventually saw me. He ran fast as he could and
stopped when he saw the state I was in. He knew immediately what
had happened, it was obvious.
“Oh my gosh Janie” he said hugging me. He picked me up
and I just cried on his shoulder. “Come on, you need to go
home. Fear overtook my eyes, “No, I can’t go home, well
not yet,” I whispered, my throat hurt too much to actually
speak. “Ok, we will go to mine” It took us a while but
we eventually arrived at his, I had stopped crying by now because
just being with him made me happier. His parents weren’t in
luckily; I probably wouldn’t have gone in if they were
because I was a mess. He sat me on his bed. “Trust me Janie,
it’ll all be alright, I’ll ring your mum.” Ten
minutes later, I heard a knock on the door and my mum came in. She
didn’t know what had happened and I didn’t know how to
tell her.