Guise. Yesterday I was at
the doctors, I got dropped off there after work. My mom met me
there, when she got there, she was on the phone, so I just went
with the nurse and did what I had to do. Before the doctor came in,
I found out she was on the phone with my sister's principle. My
sister, who is 15, wrote a note in school saying she wanted to kill herself. And
then my mom was talking to the doctor about my sister, and she said
that last Thursday my sister took a razor, the kind you shave
with, and cut her arm.
I honestly was so absolutely devasted by this. It was a hard blow.
I went and hung out with my friend Kyle, and I was texting my
sister trying to find out why she did it. And I was telling her how
it was bad and doesn't help anything and she texted back,
"so what? you
did it so many times" with those eight
words I broke down balling my eyes out. 'Cause she's
right...I have 42
self-inflicted scars on various parts of my body.
Never once has my sister seen me cut, but she must have known. And
honestly her saying that it was no big deal cause I did, just tore
me apart, and it still is tearing me apart. My sister is 15 years
old, and she has a learning disability. She's at a thrid grade
reading level, and doesn't exactly comprehend things well. She
doesn't really understand that saying you wanna kill yourself
is a big deal, she doesn't understand. I just can't help
but feel this is my fault...