Status: forever alone
Joined: July 25, 2011
Last Seen: 8 years
Birthday: September 16
user id: 199402
Gender: F

hi i'm karley, and i adore you

glitterandnightmares's Favorite Quotes

I want a boy
who would shove ice cream in my face.
Who will wrestle with me.
Who shows me off to his friends.
Who treats me with respect.
Who will call me at 4 in the morning
and tell me he can’t stop thinking about me.
Who sings to me; even if he can’t.

Who could break my heart,
but wouldn’t even dream of it.

person is typing...

person is typing...

person is typing...

person is typing...

person is typing...

person is typing...

person is typing...

person is typing...

person is typing...

person says...   hi

PLOT TWIST: That person is confessing their undying love to you; spilling their guts and finally getting the courage to tell you how you feel. Then they think, delete it all and type in that one word.


What people consider a "snack": Animal crackers and a juice box
What I consider a "snack": 2 four topping pizzas, a can of coke, a birthday cake, 3 jars of nutella, a gallon of ice cream, creme brulee from france, 4 donuts, and a pie. 

On the 12th day of christmas Facebook came to me....

12 dudes Im blocking

11 friends just waiting

10 corny topics

9 busted barbies

8 friends complaining

7 stalkers stalking

6 party invites


4 game requests

3 photo tags

2 people pokes


Merry early christmas everyone.
Me: hey, i like your shirt
Them: thanks, i got it for seventy dollars at a department store
Me: really? because for seventy dollars at Burlington, i got the same shirt, three lamps, cashmere underwear, a golden retriever and two Puerto Rican children

how awkward am i?
last night, my boyfriend and i were cuddling on the couch.
i got cold and rolled up into a ball.
and then i blurt out,
"check it out. i'm an armadillo."

Dear 'boyfriend';
Application For Permission To Date My Daughter
Note:  Please be prepared to submit additional information e.g. psychological profile, DNA samples and admission to polygraph exam.
1. Name:______________________________________  Date of Birth __/__/____
2.Height: __ft__in. Weight: ___Lbs. I.Q: __ GPA: __
3.Social Security Number: ___-___-____ Drivers License: State: _______ Number: _____________
4.Home address____________________ City: _____________ State_____
5: Boy Scout Rank: _________________
6.How fast can you run 40 yards: ____sec. Two Miles: ___min.
7.Church you attend: ___________________ How Often? _____________________
8.In 50 words or less, Explan what "DONT TOUCH MY DAUGHTER" means to you:

9. In 50 words or less, Explain what "Late" means to you:

10. Complete the following sentences:
       a) If I were to be shot, the last place I would want to be shot is in the __________.
       b) If I were to be beaten, the last bone I would want to have broken is ___________.
       c) The one thing I hope this Application does not as is________________________________________.
       d) In the unfortunate event of my untimely death, I would like my ashes scattered ___________________.
       e)My greatest fear is____________________________.
11. What do you want me be if you grow up?_________________________________________.
12.How you ever been fingerprinted? Yes___ No___
13. Do you have any identifying marks? e.g. birth marks,scars, tattoos Yes___ No___
14.My dentist is __________________________________ City:_______________ State:______________
I hereby swear that all the information supplied above is true and correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of Deah and or Dismemberment.
Thank you for your interest! Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if you are approved. Please do not call, write or E-mail. Any attempts at contact during the processing of this application could be hazardous to your health and/or cause serious personal injury.
               Daddy's Orders

One day
you’ll meet a guy.
And ultimately, he’s going to find out.
How you chew, how you sip,
how you dance, how you smell at every point in the day.
How your face looks underneath all your makeup.
How you love chocolate, how you can be hyper at times,
how certain games and shows make you really happy.
How cranky you can get when you’re tired,
how you think you look bad in all your photos.
He’s going to know everything about you.
And you know what?
He’s still going to love you.


I find it hilarious when

I go on facebook and see

A girl who just posted a new profile picture & in it she's smiling really innocently pretending that she has no idea that her boobs are literally inches from exploding out of her shirt.