let
me tell you a thing about suicide-
today i was driving to
the mall with my family just to look around, not buy anything, to
just really enjoy life. i was listening to franz
ferdinand’s ‘love illumination’ on repeat. on
the way there we were stopped (to those familiar to the area,
this took place on the mini bridge with the high way below just
off the exit of the actual high way) and i watched a guy have
some extreme issues lighting flares. i figured since the whole
bridge was blocked off, there was probably an accident. that man
eventually lit his flare and walked back over to police, who
pointed to the fence on the bridge. there, i noticed a girl who
had crawled over and was threatening to jump to her death. i
tried to be optimistic about the situation, like maybe
she’s just trying to enjoy the breeze. but the sirens and
flashing lights and this beautiful girl screaming at the world
totally moved me. the police stopped the traffic below, and
eventually we were told to go on forward, in the case that she
did leap and smash herself against the cold, hard asphalt. my dad
being the surgeon that he is told my brother and i that even if
she did leap, the worst she could do is break a leg. she
couldn’t fully kill herself. i saw people pull their cars
over as close as possible to the bridge and just watch this girl
clinging to the fence, bending and straightening her legs wildly,
yelling and screaming at police officers. my dad asked me if i
think she’ll fully commit to her attempt, and i said no.
why? because she’s thinking about it. now i’m not
omnificent to all things suicide but i’ve seen my share of
documentaries and books and i can compare and contrast
situations. by the time my family and i returned to the bridge,
they had gotten the girl down from the overpass and into an
ambulance. this really scared me though. the fact that i thought
everything was pretty okay in the world, while someone was
preparing to end theirs. it really breaks my heart to see someone
so upset with themselves or with whatever the hell is going on in
their world that they resort to ending it. seeing someone attempt
to commit suicide is totally different from what you read in
books or what you see in movies, or overhear from another person.
it feels like you’re right there with them, falling, or at
least it did for me. i don’t believe i have any connections
whatsoever with this girl, but where ever she is, i hope things
are going to improve for her.