help_me_im_drowning

Dear stranger,
Sadly it has came to the time where we no longer call each other best friends. And although its been only four months, I feel like my heart is slowly breaking at the days that remind me of you. When I see the picture of you smiling, tears fill my eyes knowing that I am not. Threre is only guilt of what I could and should of said. All the long nights that us two would argue bring back awful flashbacks I wish to not remember. I wish to only rememeber the best things about you,like how you loved to read and drink hot cocoa on the park bench. But after walking home from the park your demons would come alive and slowly attack your mind. It was my job to fight your demons, and sadly I failed. I was more of a therapist rather than a friend, and when I could not help enough the guilt had fled back into my mind. What if I lost him? What if he saw me as I see myself? The time had came where you had seen me the way I saw myself and I dreaded it. I still look back at the words I said and wish I could only change them. I never wanted it to be like this. I never stopped caring, nor ever will. I still wish that I could wake to the days where I knew that you were right by my side. Where I knew it was just you and I against the awful world. Sadly it has came to the day where we pass by each other as strangers, not a single smile on our faces. No wave hello, no how have you been...just numb. To think that the person that I had whole dedication to, a person I thought I could fix. With the pain in my chest as I whimper in fear that someone else will now see me at my worst. A worthless idiot with made up dreams about a person ever possibly caring for them. Although we both had said some awful things, I only wish to take them back, to take everything back. Maybe if I had done something different. It would of never ended up this way. I still love you dearly.
Yours truly,
just another stranger.

I sit here
everyday
and pick apart my flaws
like weeds
and I
wonder
how anyone
could see them as
roses.

and the fact that
you think so
many bad
things about
yourself
and dont see the
beauty
in you
is sad