Yeah I know what you mean. I was a mess but I had my twin sister, we didn't get along before that but we do now. I was also super shallow before. I used to go to a private school and well dark days lol. but it got better for me, I have a lot of amazing friends who actually care. Before the friends I had that I lost didn't give a rats . I hope it gets better for you soon. It can also be an opportunity for you to start over.