hydraulic

Status:
Joined: October 12, 2009
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 91146
Location: Alabama
Gender: F

Ã�¯Ã�»Ã�¿Ã�¯Ã�»Ã�¿How would you feel? What would you say if you found me dead the next morning?
Pieces of my past cover my wrists
Tears are falling
The blood drips down
I'm screaming inside
But I dont make a sound
Not to worry, my life has been one big dissappointment anyways
She looks down at her damaged arm
All the harm she's done
Every regret she lives with
She'd do anything to go back to that day
When she held that razor to her arm
Twist the story around & put it down
She'd do anything to get rid of her awful scars
Her painful memories
She'd give anything to forget the pain that put them there
She sits and cries
Painful tears fill her eyes
Silent screams & cries of pain
Arms full of cuts & scars of shame
Alone in this world with a blade as a friend
To stop all her pain, & put it all to an end
She lies in her regret, spills of blood start to drop
This is her way to make all if this stop
If one day you wake up & find that I'm not there
I promise you can find your name carved into my wrists
Cutting all my pain away
My heart still aches in sadness & secret tears still flow
Everyone thinks I have everything, the dont ever see the true me, & I dont think I'll ever show them...
I feel like dying everyday
And people have hurt her so bad
The only person she can trust now is herself
I used to be normal
Young and happy
Now all I have is the broken image
Of the girl I used to be
How do you know I'm hurting if you cannot see my pain?
To wear it on my body tells words I cant explain
It hurts to know that no one is there for you and nobody really cares
Wondering what your purpose is, or why you're even there
She finally let go of her fake smile
& the tears slowly rolled down her face
As she whispered to herself
I dont want to be me
I wish I was a white crayon, that way no one would ever use me
I'm alone in a room that is dark
Fighting the urge to leave another mark
My tears are flowing my thoughts collide
& the end result I'll have to hide
I'm battered & bruised & all alone
Unable to fight this on my own
Friends used to help me through this day
But they saw my pain & ran away
I'm growing weaker as the days pass
Afraid today might be my last
I know the next move is up to me
Asking for help is the only key
I know what it's like for memories to make you wince
& love letters read like obituaries
& photo albums are the books of the dead
I need no reminders
I'll forget the past and lay it to rest 

  
 
   


  
 
 

How would you feel? What would you say if you found me dead the next morning?

Pieces of my past cover my wrists

Tears are falling

The blood drips down

I'm screaming inside

But I dont make a sound

Not to worry, my life has been one big *d i s s a p o i n t m e n t* anyways

She looks down at her damaged arm

All the harm she's done

Every regret she lives with

She'd do anything to go back to that day

When she held that razor to her arm

Twist the story around & put it down

She'd do anything to get rid of her awful scars

Her painful memories

She'd give anything to forget the pain that put them there

She sits and cries

Painful tears fill her eyes

Silent screams & cries of pain

Arms full of cuts & scars of shame

Alone in this world with a blade as a friend

To stop all her pain, & put it all to an end

She lies in her regret, spills of blood start to drop

This is her way to make all if this stop

If one day you wake up & find that I'm not there

-- I promise you can find your name carved into my wrists

Cutting all my pain away

My heart still aches in sadness & secret tears still flow

Everyone thinks I have everything, the dont ever see the true me, & I dont think I'll ever show them...

I feel like dying everyday

And people have hurt her so bad

The only person she can trust now is herself

I used to be [ n . o . r . m . a . l ]

Young and [ h . a . p . p . y ]

Now all I have is the *b r o k e n* image

Of the girl I used to be

How do you know I'm hurting if you cannot see my pain?

To wear it on my body tells words I cant explain

It hurts to know that no one is there for you and nobody really cares

Wondering what your purpose is, or why you're even there

She finally let go of her fake smile

& the tears slowly rolled down her face

As she whispered to h e r s e l f

I dont want to be me

I wish I was a white crayon, that way no one would ever use me

I'm alone in a room that is dark

Fighting the urge to leave another mark

My tears are flowing my thoughts collide

& the end result I'll have to hide

I'm battered & bruised & all alone

Unable to fight this on my own

Friends used to help me through this day

But they saw my pain & ran away

I'm growing weaker as the days pass

Afraid today might be my last

I know the next move is up to me

Asking for help is the only key

I know what it's like for memories to make you wince

& love letters read like obituaries

& photo albums are the books of the dead

I need no reminders

No more reminders

I'll forget the past and lay it to rest 

 

Quotes by hydraulic

I had facial reconstruction at 17, I'm so self concious.
i know i havent been on in a while and im not a "big" account...but i just need to vent...
my best friend got into drugs last year, and i wont lie and say im not equally at fault. ive blown most of my paychecks on pills and so has she. im messed up more than im
sober now and i hate who ive become. my friend committed suicide last week because someone threatened her about drug money. im terrified my parents are going to find out, i cant leave the house until march. im at such a loss and im such a wreck, my boyfriend said he doesnt want to be with a druggie or a drunk. im done, i dont know what else to do.
FOLLOW ME ON TWITTER, I follow back(:
annabelle_lee96
He called me beautiful....and I still see myself as hideous.
He told me I beautiful.

I'm Irish
 &+ yes, I hold my alcohol very  well.



 




Sitting here, blade in hand, wondering...
...
do you even care to stop me?

It just takes one move to end it all, the steel of this knife is so comforting...
are you going to find me like you found Trey that one time? Passed out in
a pool of blood on the bathroom floor? Will you tell everyone I "just slipped"?
What happens when I really go too far? I won't take the easy way and just hold a
pistol to my head, oh no. I'd rather feel all the blood flow down my arms, hear it drip,
watch it splatter as it hits the white tile, and watch as a crimson stain sets in the grout. If
only I could see your face when you found me if I did that...oh, what a sick pleasure it would be...
I warned you.

We're back to square one.
back to the razor blades, back to wiping blood off the keyboard and sink
I hope you're happy now.




 



Just wait for the day I reach my breaking point.
then you'll be f-cking sorry.




 




I will always disappoint you...
I'm sorry.