ifstarscouldtalk

Status:
Joined: September 12, 2010
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 124859

I'm Lexie and I am currently at the exciting age of 16. Not so exciting. I am not putting quotes on here to get faves or for people to feel bad for me because I know it could be much much worse.
I will be honest I have been abused my whole life and well I still love my abuser, he is my father. I can't change who he is and I won't because this is a long time in the making with him. I am currently writing a book about my life and how that I am going to over come that and make myself a better person. My life has been messed up for a long long time, but I am not complaining because then I wouldn't be the person I am today, sometimes I think I might have been happier but I don't think that is true. The book will be called "Behind the Mask: True Lies", if it changes I will post it. It is something that is difficult to write because you know someone is going to see that and judge you. You can't keep people from doing that but I have always wanted to write it to make it better for people, and expose the truth and the lies that my hometown has created.
I am from such a small town in Iowa that is becoming very popular by the minute because of the flood over there, but it was home for a 11 years, the longest I will probably ever life my entire life.
Some of the things that inspire me are the stars, the moon, the people around me, boys, and well the life that I am trying so hard to over come and not let myself give up. The one person that I look up to is my mom, but the person I look back on is my Aunt Roeline.
Few things that my Aunt Roeline helped me with and even now after all the year she has been gone and missed. She helped me see that myself is the best that will ever be around. She also taught me to hid what really hurts so no one will freak out and worry because she put up the best mask that anyone could ever do in the whole world I think. I never knew she was in pain until after she passed away when I was 10, that just so happens when my life fell apart.
I don't want people to freak out because I do have hard times that I show and sometime I will speak the truth and no one knows it. I am going to say this one last thing, my mom hides our imperfections and our secrets because she has been around too many people who judge so roughly.

I am not putting this for anyone to feel sorry for me because that has always been what I hated the most. I don't see why people can be sorry for someone else who is just trying so hard just to not feel like this anymore, but I do except them a lot better than I did when I was younger. I still don't want people to truly know the pain because I never want anyone to feel pain and others pain is so so much better.
Thanks for support and thanks for just reading the quotes and commenting one my profile. Thanks for just being a space I can vent and it not be my journal, where someone can put there feed back in too. JUST THANKS. :D

Quote Comments by ifstarscouldtalk

ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #3844984
show buttons

Honestly, just say I'm not happy. If you break his heart, you break his heart. You should be young while you are. But don't be like me who was going to settle with my now ex boyfriend Brandon after a week. But don't start dating someone right after you dump him. He might try and ask why and not leave you alone but after you give him a reason don't answer his phone calls or anything, if you don't want to. Your friends are wrong, if your not happy not stay in a relationship. I wish you the best of luck and if you need anything I am here.
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #3782834
show buttons

By best friend's back pack and I carry her's!
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #3728466
show buttons

Be strong! I am an overweight girl but you know what I do? I look at myself for my personality and I don't care what people think of my body. I have been called fat by almost every family memeber I have. I still hold my head up high but it took me a long long time to see that I am beautiful the way you are. You are beautiful the way you are, you just need to try and remember that and I know it is hard. School is always tough and people are always going to be mean even when you thought they cared, but it sucks. I know if you ever need to talk or anything I am always here for you. Just hold your head up and think I am beautiful for all the reason you have and try not to think about who is skinnier just be you and that is all you need to be. :)
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #3095108
show buttons

I told my boyfriend that I loved his girlfriend.
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #3579547
show buttons

I didn't think witty was made for something like that. I thought it was suppose to be about our feelings about things and things that are funny to us. Not about hurt other people but that is just me because I never call people names like that even if they are being really mean because everyone is beautiful in there own way. No one should pick on anyone. That is my opinion. I feel bad for her that is just wrong!
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #3576498
show buttons

This is my new motto with boys now! I can do whatever I want and you can just watch.
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #3540965
show buttons

This is beautiful, do you have anymore poems like this. I know I would read them.
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #3531251
show buttons

Nick and Joe went solo and I think Kevin is a producer but they pretty much split up, that must be awkard that the dinner table and on holidays.
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #3530985
show buttons

It is the way it should be. Quotes about how we are feeling and venting and if you feel like adding it to your faves then go ahead.
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #3519172
show buttons

I don't think it is that bad to break up over a text. At least you weren't with him and then when he left an hour later you dumped him. That is worst. My ex did that 2 weeks ago. Dumped me after hanging out that day. It was only 10 minutes he told me he loved me.
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #3519000
show buttons

I cut myself on a locker, and a butter knife. Then I get random bruises that I can't even explain to you where they come from. I have also broke my own right toe once, but not with the other foot, with my right foot. My friends tell me I have such a great talent!
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #3468282
show buttons

I am sorry but she is going to have to do it herself. My dad and my aunt are alcoholics and thanks to my mom, my dad stopped drinking because she wouldn't do it with him. But my mom told me that no one can make someone quit because they have to want to do it. My aunt has been doing it for 20 some years, we have to let her do it because it is her choice to drink and it is her choice to quit. Trying to make her quit might make it worse. I hope she can get help but she has to choose it herself because she is the reason she continues. I am sorry if I sound mean but I am going through it just like you, thanks to the drinking I was told in March if she didn't stop she would die in 6 months. You can talk to me if you need someone.
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #3080350
show buttons

It could work like that too but this is how I wanted it.
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #2944492
show buttons

I dumped him both times because of my friends. It was my fault....
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #2936865
show buttons

OMG he should be on Witty, I know I would follow him. His writing is beautiful. I don't think I have felt anything like that while I was reading something. I am glad you posted this.It is amazingly beautiful. I never knew someone could feel like that and put it all into words and make it that beautiful. I know that is how i feel sometimes. It is true. Thank you for showing this, hopefully other people will read it too. It is well worth it!
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #2842338
show buttons

Don't give up because then it will make you feel ever worst than you do now. I know you can't imagine feeling any worst than this but it does get worst.
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #2624396
show buttons

I use to do that then one day I took a chance and messaged him. Within the next hour I had his number and after talking to him for about 3 hours he asked me if I liked him... an hour later I told him the truth after trusting him... He ended up liking me too. :D Take a chance sometime!!!
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #2612684
show buttons

I am in the same exact boat as you. It is like you just want them to see you are like them and that you are better than some girly girl. You are yourself or at least you try to be when you are around them. You are like see what I accomplished it is just like you did. You go around thinking well if I do this then maybe when they tell me that they don't like me like that you don't feel so bad but once they say something like I like you or something close to it you freak out a little inside. Honestly, you are still young, most of the things that you do now don't really matter, you are like any kid you just want to have fun. You do just need to be yourself and no one else. If they don't like you as yourself when you are your best, your worst, they aren't even worth being around when you are absolutely fantastic and amazing. You see, you don't need to feel like a because you like to do things and when people tell you you are just ignore them because they are just jealous that you have done more than they have. You are perfect you. No one but you can let those judgemental comments get to your head. You know what you are and how you feel and just think I am perfect even if no one thinks it but yourself. Sorry that this is long but I truly know what you are feeling right now, because that is me and all I think is I am in high school and this is the time to focus on things like friends and school work because that is what is going to matter, true friends.
:D
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #2600586
show buttons

That is amazing...
reply 0
ifstarscouldtalk 1 decade ago on quote #2592722
show buttons

I'll be your friend!!!
reply 0