iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor

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Joined: April 27, 2009
Last Seen: 4 years
user id: 74751

Candace Rae; October 12th; 16.

everyone has a story so don't judge.


If you wanna know here it goes gonna tell you this,
The part of me that'll show if you're close,
Gonna let you see everything, but remember that you asked for it.
I'll try to do my best to impress,
But it's easier to let you take a guess at the rest.
But you wanna hear what lives in my brain,
my heart, will you ask for it, for your persuing,
At times confusing, slightly amusing, Introducing Me<3

 

Quotes by iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor

It's called love;)119

Junior Year
 

Sarah: NATTTTTTTTTT JAYYYYYYY WAKE UP!!!!! ITS THE FIRST
DAY OF SCHOOOL! WAKE UP WAKEUP WAKE UPPPPPP!!!!!!!
Me: I'm up Sarahh!
Justin: k Sarebear.

In our house, Justin's room is at the end of the hall. Walking out of Justin's room, first door on the left is my room and then down the hall across the catwalk at the top of our stairs and on the right is Sarah's room. So yeah our house is quite big, but sometime's my Mom and Jeff are asking for me and Justin to hook up! Like really they leave us home alone whenever they want us too! They let us leave when we want to, after all we have our own cars but we basically share one we are always together!

I walk into Justin's room and sit on the edge of his bed..

Me: Good Morning..
Justin *smiling*: good morning!
Me: you going to get up and get ready?
Justin: not until you give me a good morning
kiss!
Me: Is that all you want? okayy!
Justin: like we have time to do more!
Me: we always do, I told you when I'm
ready I'm sorry, just  a little longer baby.
Justin:  no pressure, I can wait forever..
Me: we really need to talk about what we're
going to do though..
Justin: about?
Me: If we're going to stay together after graduation,
how do we tell my mom and Jeff?
Justin*kissing my head*: don't worry, we have plenty of
time to talk about it, I promise.
Me: alright, get up! You have to look good today it's
picture day! Take a shower and I'll make you breakfast.
Justin: Let's go somewhere special this weekend, just
you and me..
Me: like they'll allow us..
Justin: Already did, were good.
Me: where will we be going?
Justin: you'll see, now get in the kitchen!(;
Me: keep it up like that and you'll be going alone
this weekend!
Justin: or will I? just kidding alright one kiss
and I'm in the shower!

I kissed him, a nice, slow, pleasurable kiss. And then he was up, naked, then gone..


 

It's called love;)118

Junior Year
Sophomore year went by slow at first and slowly got faster. The longer I went without Sam, the easier it got. Justin worked really hard and got his grades up. Everyone stopped questioning our mental stability. To the school if Jay and I were not related we would be the perfect "It" couple, but we are "related" and so we are just the cute 'siblings/ best friends' our school had seen. To our parents they had the perfect children who got along and were the best of friends. Everyone was jealous. We OWNED the school. Head cheerleader, related to the head football/basketball/baseball star. Once Sam's death faded, everyone wanted to be like us.  They were all jealous of how fabulous everything was turning out for us... But to me? Things were about to change. With a lot of lovers, comes a few to many haters. Remember Jessica? She got super jealous of how popular I became said "I never gave her the attention she needs as a best friend" She spread a ton of rumors telling people of how fake I am and for awhile everyone believed her and no one would talk to me. But Justin saved me. He backed me up and everyone believed him over Jessica. I keep trying to get her back but it's no use, our friendship what was even left of it is gone. I'm waiting for the day she'll start talking about Justin and I's past relationship that she knew about.. I have a feeling that day will be coming soon. But as for now? Justin and I are still in love, yeah I know it's only been two years since Sam's death and if Sam were here I would be running straight for his arms, but Justin's all I have. The only person who stood by my side the whole time, the only one who gets me and I don't know where I'd be without him. This is where our story will continue, As we know of right now this is the happiest we have ever been, yes mourning still we have lost a great friend and romance, but it's time we move on. 

It's called love;)117

Me: Justin.. could you go downstairs?
Sorry I know that sounds mean..I just need
time to..think.
Justin: alright.. understandable..
He kissed my forehead, and walked out the door, closing it behind him. I layed there for a moment thinking. Then I got out some old letters from Sam..

Hi Babygirl,
Today you stopped by to see me, just to say hi! I love you. You are so beautiful. You had no make up on, hair up in a "bun," in sweats and a sweatshirt with paint all over it, because you were painting your new room and didn't feel like getting ready because you were tired. I love you. I love the fact that you know you don't have to look sexy, to be beautiful to me. most girls think that they have to get all ready for their boyfriends, but you, you know that that's not true and or right. You know you dont have to because if I don't like you the way you are then I shouldn't like you all hot and sexy. When you go back out there don't forget this, please. Tonight we cuddled, and watched some fireworks on youtube because we aren't sure I'm going to make it to fourth of July... I will baby. I will. I love you so much.  If you love something let it go, if it comes back to you, its yours. If it doesn't, it never was. I will be waiting for you, just think of me up there with the big guy sharin' some stories and laughin' and by the time you get up here our home will be built. If you, which you will, move on and you already have a new family, then by golly I will just hug you, and we will have to catch up on coffee sometime.

I love you,
Sam

It's called love;)117
Justin: Okay.. whatsup?
Me: I want to..
Justin: you want to what?
Me: Never mind.. you can go downstairs.
Justin: Please just finish your sentence.
Me: No never mind it doesn't matter..
Justin: Nat..
Me: Justin, I want to kiss you..
Justin: That's it?
Me:yeah.. you're mad aren't you?
Justin: Nat, I want to kiss you too!
No, I want to more than kiss you.
Me:oh..
Justin: yeah, wow..
Me: Why don't you then?
Justin: I'm just as scared as you are!
Me: oh.. well you shouldn't be scared!
Justin: You shouldn't be scared either!
Me: I don't know if you change over time..
Justin: Yeah..It gets bigger..But my feelings
will never change Natalie.
Me: you are dirty!
Justin: shut up and kiss me already!
Me: I refuse to now.
Justin Leaned in and kissed me so tenderly, so passionately, so gently, it was incredible. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled him down. He was lying on top of me, and we just started making out. Right now, with Justin, I feel unstoppable. I slowed down the kisses so I could say something.
Me: Justin, Just-..tin.. I have a question.
He stopped kissing me, grabbed my hand and rolled over to my side to face me. Randomly kissing me here and there.
 Justin: I love you..
Me: are you sure?
Justin: I've stayed here this long haven't I?
Me: yeah..

It's called love;)116
 
I layed down on his bed, crying, I stuffed my face into his blankets and his pillow where we once layed naked together, where he once layed and cried over me, where he took his last breath while holding my hand. I started crying a lot, and then I whispered “I forgive you Sam.” I put my head down and just let it all out. I cried and cried and cried and I couldn’t stop, but I didn’t want to. I wanted him to know that I really do love him, and I miss him so much. Sandy must have called Justin because he walked in and just comforted me. I sat up and he wiped the mascara from under my eyes, and the tears of my face. He put my hair behind my ear and then I leaned in and kissed him. He kissed me back. The kissing got harder and turned into making out. Hard, frustrated, sad, emotional, amazing make out. Then he pulled away and said “let’s go home” So I grabbed Sam’s note and followed Justin out. I walked back into Sam’s room, made his bed, blew him a kiss, whispered “I love you Sam” and turned off the light. I met Justin at the bottom of the stairs. I hugged Sandy goodbye, and we walked out to Jeff who was waiting outside in the car. I sat in the front next to Jeff and Justin was in the back. We get home and we have to go out to eat for dinner, but I told them I really didn’t feel like going, and they completely understood and told Justin to stay and keep an eye on me. They took Sarah and they will be home in a few hours. About 20 minutes after they left Justin came up and sat in my chair that’s across the room from my bed, where I was sitting.
 
Justin: so..
Me: so..?
Justin: well this was fun..I’m going to go dow-
Me: stay. Please.
Justin got up but when I asked him to stay, he came over to my bed and sat next to me.
It's called love;)114
 
To my beautiful girlfriend,
I’m sorry but the last three letters will be typed. Jessica is over here typing this for me because I just can’t write anymore. Words will never be able to explain how strong you are. You are only 14 years old; you shouldn’t have had to go through this at how young you are. You are gorgeous, so this is the time where I want you to something silly. Do something; it has to have been a year by now. I don’t want to rush you if you aren’t ready but, I want you to be moved on at least a little soon. I imagine you and Justin are incredibly close now. What happened to Jess? Have you talked to her lately? I hope you have, but if you haven’t she said she will understand, and yes Nat Sam really said that, just because I’m typing it does not mean I am saying all of this, he is saying every word, even this. Now listen here Natalie, I know how much you love me, I know, but I will never be able to kiss you the way you did. Please go out tonight or have a party, do something, find a guy and just talk to him. I suppose by now if you were to like Justin stuff would have happened, so if you don’t like Justin do what I said. But if you like Justin again, I have something totally different. Just do whatever you want with him. He’s silly and you know him as well as I do. Natalie, take your time on fully moving on but soon the notes will stop coming, I need you to be okay with not being able to talk to me anymore. I need you to make me feel like you are okay with moving on. I’m watching you and if I see that you aren’t ready by the last note it’s going to hurt me a lot. Especially because I would be the reason that you are hurt.