iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
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Candace Rae; October 12th; 16.
everyone has a story so don't judge.
If you wanna know here it goes gonna tell you this,
The part of me that'll show if you're close,
Gonna let you see everything, but remember that you asked for it.
I'll try to do my best to impress,
But it's easier to let you take a guess at the rest.
But you wanna hear what lives in my brain,
my heart, will you ask for it, for your persuing,
At times confusing, slightly amusing, Introducing Me<3
Quotes by iminlovewithnicholasjerryconnor
you’re okay, I’m okay, everyone’s going to die eventually, I just had to go earlier because I had to make sure there’s a nice home to welcome you and Natalie, and everyone into once you come to see me. DO NOT DO ANYTHING STUPID JUSTIN. Do NOT leave Natalie alone. She loves you Justin, and she’s going to need you at one point. She can’t get through this by herself. Now don’t get me wrong she’s a very strong girl, and you know this, but we’ve talked Justin, she’s okay right now, but there will be a point where she lets her guard down. She’s going to break down; she can’t be strong and hold it all in forever. Please don’t let her be alone, comfort her. I know you will, I don’t know why I even told you that because you have always been there for her. I know you will always be there for her. But please don’t miss the little signs she’ll be showing. Don’t push her away either Justin. She LOVES you! She cares about you, and she’d going to WANT to be there for you. She’s going to try, do NOT push her away. As I write I realize these are going to be the last words I will ever say to you. I should probably think of something smart and inspiring and incredible haha. I don’t know yet, but Justin it’s sad, but I’m not worried, I know you will be okay. I am going to always be here for you.
Justin didn’t cry, well till he hugged Sam at the end, because then they both broke down, I shouldn’t say both, because I balled too. After they stopped hugging Sam handed Justin a letter with the same ‘don’t read until after the funeral’ post it. It wasn’t long after that, when Sam left everything behind and went up to heaven. At the funeral Justin and I sat with his mom, dad, and sister. I sat between Justin and Sam’s sister, holding both of their hands while they cried. I didn’t, no I couldn’t cry, I know that Sam is okay, he’s not suffering anymore. Everyone’s always whispering about me that I should be locking myself in my room and not talking to anyone like Justin, but I tried, I can’t do it. After the funeral we went to the dinner, and went home. Justin went straight to his room, slamming the door behind him. I followed him; I silently opened and closed his door. He was on his bed, still in his suit; face down in his pillow crying. I sat next to him on his bed and ran my hand back and forth on his back. That’s when I saw Sam’s letter untouched sitting on the nightstand. I curled up next to Justin, cuddling with him until he stopped crying, and then fell asleep. I snuck out around 6pm because I was hungry. I got two plates of dinner ready, and set one in the microwave. I went to my room to eat so if I heard Justin wake up I could go get his food and make him eat. Around 8 I got my homework out and started to catch myself up. I did Justin’s for him too, I’m scared he will get so behind he won’t be able to play sports. I think around 10 is when I fell asleep. At 2 I could hear Justin crying, so I got up and went over there. There he was crying on his bed, with the letter next to him. I went and sat next to him on the bed, and as soon as I sat down he grabbed me as tight as he could and I grabbed him back. We just sat there holding each other for awhile until he let go and started reading me the letter.
It's called
love;)98
Justin:
Dear Sam, I can’t believe I am writing a letter to say
goodbye to you. I never thought this day would come. You are my
best friend. You are my inspiration, my hero, and my role model.
I am so very proud of you making it this far man, you have looked
hell in the face and said ha I am too good for you. I respect you
so much. You are like my brother man, and I love you so much.
When I lose you, I am going to lose a piece of me. I’m
always going to remember the first time we met, and every summer
after that. You are an amazing friend; you helped me through
girls, deaths, and my dad driving me crazy. How am I going to get
through this without you? That question I asked myself a lot,
till one day it hit me, I am not going to have to go through it
without you. I know, no matter what, you will always be here with
me. Sam, I love you man. It’s not going to be the same
without you. You are the guy I’m going to yes, tell my kids
about, you are the reason I want kids, just so I can tell them
about my best friend of 10 years. So I can tell them no matter
how big their drama at school is, it will never be as bad as what
you went through. That no matter what they have a guardian angel
always watching over them. I cannot tell you how much you have
affected my life dude, and I can’t tell you how much you
mean to me. The words ‘Best Friend’ are overused way
too much. Nobody knows the meaning of best friend, like I
do. Remember that time, we snuck out when we were 7 to go play in
the park? Or the time we got in trouble because we played spill
the bottle at my 11th birthday party. We’ve been
through so much together I don’t know what it is going to
be like to not have you here, but I can’t think about me,
it’s not about me, it’s about you. You can’t
suffer anymore and I’m glad you won’t be anymore. I
love you man. Better play basketball up there because when I get
up there with you, you better put up a decent fight! I’m
just kidding.
It's called
love;)97
I got to Sam’s
house, feeling it was the day he was letting go.. I fixed my hair
the way he loves it, put a little make up on, and his favorite
dress. When I got to Sam’s house, his feeding tube was out,
his oxygen mask was now into his nose, and they had started his
medicine. Sam smiled when he saw me enter the room, everyone who
was in the room with him left, crying, I sat next to his bed. He
grabbed my hand and squeezed it a little, and then he picked up a
letter next to his bed and handed it to me. The letter was quiet
long, and it had a post it on it that said “don’t
read until after the funeral.”
Me:
Sam, I love you so much. You are so strong you know that?
Don’t be scared anymore okay baby? I LOVE YOU, and you ARE
going to be okay. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.
Justin walks
in.
Me:
I’ll leave…
I kissed Sam on the
cheek and started to walk out.
Justin:
stay. Hold his hand, and kiss him more than
that.
Me:
Are you sure?
Justin:
Natalie, stay with Sam and me please.
Me:
okay…
Justin sat on the bed
next to Sam..He pulled out a letter and started to read
it.
It's called
love;)93
I went to get ready. I
had to look cute, but sexy. Comfy, but still
hot.
Sam:
I’m on my way..meet me at the park
please!
Me:
Kay..I’m on my way!
I grabbed my motor
scooter and rode my way to the park. When I got there Sam was
waiting with his go kart. We chained my scooter down, he blind
folded me, sat me in the go kart, started the engine, quickly sat
next to me, put his seat belt on, grabbed my hand with his right
hand, the wheel with the left, and we were off. I am not sure
where we were going and how far we were going. We just kept on
riding. Any further and it felt like we would run out of gas.
Eventually he stopped, but I “wasn’t allowed to take
my blindfold off” he got me out of the go kart. Walked me
to a..house?.. up some stairs and into a room. He sat me on a bed
and told me to take the blind fold off. We were in his room..
Roses and candles everywhere.
Sam:
two ways to go here. We get down to
business
Or we talk for a
little..
Me:
come here..
Sam:
pick!
Me:
now.