intheendweallfalldown

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Joined: July 18, 2010
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Quotes by intheendweallfalldown

so sorry to the feew people reading my story, No One Can Love With a Broken Heart, but i'm grounded for three weeks, i shouldn't even been on the computer right now, but i felt bad for not letting you know, i was so close to finishing the story too!
but please keep reading when i can post the story more!<.3


***
Before I knew it we were in the mall parking lot, “Ian! Ian, I need to talk to you before you get out,” I just nodded tell him to go on with what he needed to talk about, so he was going to tell me anyway, I smiled a little. “I was thinking about what you said earlier about Nattily, and if you want me to back offI will. I don’t feel the same way you do abouther. I mean I care about her insanely but she isn’t my sun and everything you said. And she doesn’t feel that way about me either, I think I should just give up and stay friends,”
I didn’t know what to say to him, he was brave, “Thank you Johnny. That means so much to me, I really do think we could be friends, if we tried. Hah, sorry we couldn’t be from the start,” I meant that. I really did think that if things were different Johnny and I could have been friends from the start.
I got out of his truck and ran into the mall. I didn’t want to be late for work.
 
Nattily’s POV
After Johnny and Ian left Ashley walked in, I totally forgot about her.
“I heard a little bit of that, I’m sorry Nat,”
“It’s okay, but you wouldn’t mind if I took a nap then we talked? I’m so tired,” Ashley nodded and I closed my eyes. I’ve been waiting for this all day.
 
I didn’t know how long I slept for but when I woke up Ashley wanted to talk right away, I could tell when she looked over at me and her eyes widened. “Hey,” I said shortly.
“Hey Nattily. Do you have any sort of idea as to what you want to do? Treatment needs to start right away if you want to live,” way to keep it casual Ashley. I really didn’t want to talk about that right now. I didn’t want to think about it either. It was only going to stress me out more.
“Ashley, please. I don’t want to talk about it right now. When can I get out of this place anyway?”
“In a few hours. But Nattily! You need to think about it! You need to know what you are going to do. This isn’t some dumb school project you can put off until the day before it’s due. You need to come up with an answer as soon as possible! People are going to want to know what you are going to do and god damn it Nattily they have a right to know instead of keeping them in suspense longer than they have to be. Those people care about you, worry about you, and need to know what is going on. And I am one of those people! I can already tell you know what you are going to do, and I will give you some time to tell me and everyone else but not too much. Everyone does have a right to know what is going on,” she paused, “And you need to call Sarah and Ash after they get out of school today. They are coming to pick you up, I have to go to work, I couldn’t get today off,” that was Ashley for you, changing the subject before she got more worked up about it. She stood up and waved good-bye, then left me in the hospital for a few more hours. Great. What was a supposed to do while I waited? It wasn’t like I could get up and explore the stupid hospital. What if I caught a sickness or something? Then I would have to be in here longer. I was just better off thinking about what decisions had to be made, even if I already knew what I was going to do.
No One Can Love With a Broken Heart
Nattily’s POV
I was in the hospital; I knew that, I just didn’t know how I got here. I knew that my head killed. I still felt so lightheaded. Something was wrong with me, but what could it be? I was healthy one minute and the next I fell to the floor, is that supposed to mean something? As I was thinking about all of this, I noticed someone crying in the corner of my hospital room. I couldn’t tell who it was.
“Hello?” I sat up, trying to get a better look at the person.
“Nat- I’m so sorry! This-” It was Johnny, he sniffled.
“Stop, please, just explain to me how this was possibly your fault? Just explain that to me. Exactly, you can’t, so don’t even think that,” I said, my voice got quiet, I could barely finish the sentence, I was going to cry. Johnny was just being stupid, he shouldn’t think any of this was his fault,
"Well, you fell, out of nowhere! And then you randomly started bleeding of the mouth and I didn’t know what to do! I was in shock. It was my fault. It took me so long to call 911, what if you died? That would be because of me!” Johnny screamed. He really did think it was his fault.
I couldn’t believe it. I had no clue how to answer him. So I said the first thing that came to my mind,  I was bleeding from my mouth?" I had no clue what that meant, but I doubt it was good.
"Yeah," Johnny looked out the window next to him, “I called some people after I called 911, told them you were going to the hospital,” still not looking at me.
I didn’t care about who knew I was there, I cared about what was happening to body, my health, and me “Johnny, get a nurse in here now” Johnny looked over at me.
“Why? You look-,”
“Please! Just do it!” I interrupted. He got up and ran into the hall and flagged someone down. Her nametag said she was Kelly.
“Can you please tell me what is going on, with me?” I asked, begging her.
Her eyes darted, she knew what was wrong me with, but she wasn’t going to tell me, great, “That isn’t my place to say,” she said looking at her shoes.
“Then who’s is it?” I yelled at her. This wasn’t fair, there was something wrong with me and I wasn’t going to be able to find out until the stupid nurse wanted to tell me.
“Once your aunt gets here the doctor will come in and tell all of you at the same time. It’s easiest that way,” she tried to smile at me; trying to tell me everything was going to be all right.
“I don’t care about easiest, I want to know what the hell is wrong with me!” I was yelling louder hoping she would take the hint that I needed to know what was wrong right now, not later.
“I’m sorry,” the nurse said and walked out. I couldn’t believe it. There was no way to get them to tell me what was going on with me. I looked down at my hands. I had all types of tubes hooked up to me. Something was really wrong with me.
“Johnny?” I called to him, he looked up, and I could tell he wasn’t looking at me, he was looking past me. He knew something too.
“Yeah, Nattily,” his voice was low.
“Can you call my aunt and see when she is coming here?” I lowered my voice too, I didn’t like yelling, I felt so out of control when I did, like I was going to hurt someone or something and I wouldn’t be able to stop myself.
Johnny got up, took out his phone and looked out the window again, like whatever was out there was going to help him through whatever he needed to get through.
“Hey, she’s awake, she wanted to know when you were coming in to see her,” he stopped and listened, “are you sure that’s best?” listened again, “Okay I’ll let her know,” he said and hung up the phone. What was he going to tell me? That Ashley didn’t want to come see me? She was too ashamed that I was stupid. That I was going to be a teen mother and have something wrong with me? That was the first time I actually remembered I was pregnant. What if something was wrong with my baby? What would I do?! What would I tell Ian? He would never look at me again if I killed his baby. He was actually happy about becoming a father. Oh no.
“Johnny!” I burst into tears; he ran over to me and wiped the tears away.
“What! What’s wrong Nattily? Calm down!” He told me, I couldn’t stop. I wasn’t going to be able to stop crying ever. I ruined my life in a matter of seconds.
“My- my baby!” I sobbed.
“No! No! Nattily, the baby is fine! I promise, once the doctors made sure you were all right they made sure the baby was okay. Nattily, you and your baby are going to be fine,” Johnny soothed, trying to stop the tears pouring down my face. I could tell one of us wasn’t going to be okay, I just hoped it was me; I want my baby to grow up, to actually have a life and not make the mistakes I did.
Once I stopped crying Johnny got up and looked at me, “Nattily, Ashley is coming,” he looked at the time on his phone, “she should be here in two minutes but, she is bringing Ian with her, she says that he has a right to know what is going on with you too,” I didn’t know what to say, I just knew I didn’t want to see Ian like this. I was a mess. I could feel it, my hair was greasy, my make up was running, my eyes were puffy and red.
Johnny walked back over to his seat and looked out the window again, he didn’t like the fact that I loved Ian still. Johnny didn’t think anything was going to happen with Ian and I ever again and that I should move on, to him, Johnny. But I couldn’t. I loved Ian and Johnny, but the way I felt about Johnny was completely different. He was like my older brother, protective, sweet, and caring. I hated myself for letting him think there could ever be something between us.
“Hey sweetie,” it was Ashley, she walked in, came over and gave me a hug, Ian just hung by the doorway, “How do you feel, Nattily?” she asked in a caring voice.
“Better than I did earlier. Hey, Ian” I made a little wave at Ian, he just half-smiled at me, that’s all I was worth now, a half smile.
“Oh, okay. Good, we should get the doctor in here,” Ashley wanted this over with just as fast as I did.
My aunt found a nurse and told her to grab the doctor that we needed to see.
Once the doctor came in the room Ian moved closer to my aunt and Johnny stood up and walked closer to the edge of my bed, “Hi Nattily how are you feeling? I’m Doctor Morris,” the doctor was just trying to make me feel comfortable, but it didn’t work.
“I’m fine, please just tell me what is wrong with me,” I said it as nicely as I could.
Doctor Morris looked at me, then at his clipboard, “Nattily, you have Chronic Myelomonocytic Leukemia also know as CMML,” looking up at me again with saddened eyes, “We can give you treatment but that would kill your baby, or you can have your baby but the cancer would spread and we wouldn’t be able to save you,” Oh my god, this couldn’t be happening. I was going to have to choose. I already knew what I was going to do, but I don’t know how anyone was going to take it.
“Thank you,” I smiled at the doctor letting him know he could leave the room whenever he wanted now.



No One Can Love With a Broken Heart
Chapter Fifteen
A Few Months Later
Nattily’s POV.
So, I’m five months pregnant, and obviously everyone knows about it. I still don’t know if the baby is going to be a boy or a girl, I don’t want to know. I feel like it should be a surprise.
Ian has been great but we still aren’t back together, I don’t know why though. Nothing is holding us back. We talk a lot, we even sometimes hangout. He calls me most nights and we talk even more, and yet we aren’t going out again.
Johnny has been amazing too, he talks about how beautiful the baby is going to be and how special and everything. He wants to help me out with the baby too, like help baby-sit when I need someone too. He wants to help teach it to walk and talk and read and all, it’s so sweet. I honestly thought people were going to stop talking to me once they found out I was going to be a teenage mom, but more people are talking to me. It’s like they all want to help out, I’m so grateful and Ashley can’t wait for the baby to come, she says she has always wanted a baby of her own but never got the chance to settle down, I mean, she took me in when I was like, 12, so I wasn’t really a baby anymore, and then she had to watch me grow up so, I understand what she means.
Sarah and Ash aren’t so happy about the baby because Ian and I aren’t together anymore, I don’t know what that has to do with though, they asked if it would be awkward if Ian and I never got back together and we were just friends as our baby grew up, I didn’t know how to answer that question.
I mean we have been great so far, so why would that change when the baby came? It’s not like I’m dating anyone now that would take the father figure away from Ian. And Ian isn’t going out with anyone that would confuse my baby about who his mother is. And who says we won’t get back together by the time the baby comes? God, they make me second-guess myself all the time.
 
As of right now I was just ready for this baby to be out of me and for people to stop staring at me, it’s not like people were being rude about it they would just part ways to make sure the pregnant girl had enough room to walk down the halls. I was still the same person I didn’t need any special treatment.
I walked down the halls for the last time today, trying to make it to my locker without anyone moving out of my way and apologizing twenty times in a row.
“Hey,” someone said behind me.
“Hi,” I said, it was a good response for anyone right?
“What are you doing today after school?” I was at my locker now and turned around and saw that it was Johnny. I haven’t really hung out with Johnny in the past two months.
“Nothing,” I smiled a little bit, I missed Johnny, he was the closest thing I had to a best friend besides Sarah and Ash, but they were always closer to each other than with me.
“Do you want to come over?” Johnny smiled at me. Johnny was adorable. He was only a little taller than me, had light brown hair, a perfect jaw line, and blue eyes.
“Of course,” I smiled back at him, grabbed my stuff, walked out of the school and started towards Johnny’s little dark blue truck.
We didn’t really talk on the ride over to his house. He turned on the radio and focused on the road.
Once we got to his house he got out and ran to my side of the car and opened the door for me. Johnny was amazing like that, he felt like he had to be this sweet guy all the time when he didn’t have to me. “Thanks,” I said and smiled at him.
I grabbed my bag and followed him inside. I’ve been to his house before but for some reason this time it felt weird, it was like I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t know where I should have put my bag or stood or where to sit. I just looked at Johnny like a lost puppy. And he obviously caught on to this because he looked at m and laughed a little. “Nattily, what are you doing? You have been here before, but now you just look so awkward,”
“Well, I haven’t been here for like two months.”
“That doesn’t mean anything. Just act like it was two months ago,” Johnny laughed again.
Out of nowhere I felt dizzy and unstable. I felt like I was going to throw up, I couldn’t see straight. Why was I feeling like this? Did I eat something bad? Was I over tired?
Before I could call out for help I felt my head hit something hard and then, black.
 


No One Can Love With a Broken Heart
Chapter fourteen
Nattily’s POV
I watched as Ian walked away and Johnny walked towards me. Ian looked over his shoulder at Johnny; he didn’t like Johnny at all. I just wished I knew why.
“Hey,” I looked up at Johnny.
“Why doesn’t he like me?” I looked back down at my books, ‘Because you are the reason he broke up with me, because I cheated on him with you,’I thought.
“I wouldn’t know,” I said not meeting his gaze.
When I finally looked up at Johnny, he was nodding and picking up his books again. I grabbed mine too and walked out of the room.
The rest of the day went by faster than I wanted it too. I wish I had a chance to talk to Ian again but I didn’t, Johnny sat next to me in most of the classes, so Ian stayed away from me.
After school I walked slowly down the hall, wanting Ian to catch up to me. He didn’t. He walked right by me talking with some girl. I didn’t know her, but it shouldn’t matter to me right? He was just talking to her, that doesn’t mean they meant anything to each other. Why did it bug me so much? It was the same thing as Johnny and I. We were just friends and we talked a lot, about multiple things. It didn’t mean there was anything going on between us, besides the whole party thing but that was in the past! We didn’t do anything like that anymore. I loved Ian and only Ian.
Someone came up behind me and bumped my shoulder. It was Ash.
“What are you thinking about?” she looked at me, knowing something was up. I had to tell her.
“Well, hah, it’s been a month since Ian and I broke up. And I don’t know. Today we talked, he told me he hasn’t stopped loving me, and he said all these wicked sweet things and then I saw him walking out of school laughing and talking with some girl I don’t know,”
“Nattily, you need to chill. You have been walking around flirting with that guy Johnny; you are just being paranoid or jealous. And no offence but that isn’t hot,” Ash said honestly. That was one of the greatest things about Ash, and I knew she was right. I was being stupid and annoying.
“I’ll just have a dumb feeling that he might be lying about feeling all those things for me, what if he is just doing it for the bab- I don’t know,” I stopped myself, she didn’t know about the baby, I couldn’t tell her now, I needed to think about how to break it to her and Sarah. I didn’t know why it was such a big deal. People got pregnant all the time. I just wanted my friends to be there for me. To help me through this, I mean they have been with me through everything else. So why couldn’t I just tell them that I was having a baby? Because you are stupid, Nat.

Ian’s POV
Catalina was one of the funniest girls in the junior class. She wasn’t the rude kind of funny, she was the sweet kind, I didn’t really ever hangout with her but I have talked to her a few times at parties and things.
 We walked out of school together just talking about nothing special.
“I was a little shocked when you wanted to hangout with me, I mean not in the bad kind of way just it was a little random,” Catalina said as we got into my truck.
“Yeah, I know but you seemed cool when we did talk those few times, so I thought we could be good friends and all, just something different,” I said honestly. She seemed like a really cool girl. She was normal, funny, cute, and good at school.
Catalina just nodded at me, then turned on the radio. We didn’t really talk on the ride to my house. So during the silence my mind drifted to thoughts of Nattily. I didn’t even get to see her after school, maybe I’ll text her when Catalina leaves. Maybe we could even hangout.
I can’t believe myself, I was hanging out with a wicked sweet girl and I was already making plans for what to do when she was gone. I just had to see how long I hung out with Catalina. She seemed like someone I could talk about anything with, I liked those types of people. They made me feel comfortable and I was the type of person to rant a lot too.
Once we got to my house Catalina jumped out and walked to the door. I unlocked the door and we slowly walked up to my room.
“Who was the kid down there on the couch?” she asked, I didn’t think she would notice Sean.
“My little brother, Sean. He is in ninth grade,”
Catalina and I talked about a few random things for a while then she got quite. I looked at her with a questioning look.
“If you don’t mind me asking, why did you and Nattily break up? You two always seemed so happy with each other. It was really cute to see you guys walking down the hallway laughing and holding hands and everything and then, nothing,” Catalina sounded like she truly did care about our happiness that meant a lot to me.
“She cheated on me, I broke up with her, we took a break and now hopefully we are going to try and see if we could work things out,” I said with all the hope in my heart that things worked out with Nattily and I.
“Wow, that sucks. I’m sorry she cheated on you. But it takes so much to forgive a person who took their trust and crushed it within a few seconds. Ian, you are one of the strongest guys I know,” Catalina smiled at me. She made me feel good about myself and the decisions I made, her and I could be good friends in the near future.
“Yeah, but I had to forgive her, my life sucked without her. It’s like; even if she is twenty feet away I can sense it and I get so much happier. This sounds so dumb and cliché, but she really is the sunshine of my life. Everything goes good when she is around and then; everything goes dark and lonely when she isn’t,”
Catalina’s eyes started to water, “That was one of the most sweetest things I have ever heard, even if it wasn’t about me. I hope things work out with you and Nattily,” she stood up, “but I have to go, I’ll see you in school,” I got up and walked her to the door, before saying good-bye I hugged her and asked if she wanted a ride, she said no and left. I couldn’t help but think about Nattily, she really meant everything to me even if I didn’t really mean that much to her. I would always put her needs above mine, and the baby’s needs, too, after she had it. I would be there for them in a heartbeat even if we weren’t a family. I would make sure both of them knew how much that meant to me every second of everyday and I would make sure they never forgot it.
No One Can Love With a Broken Heart
Chapter Thirteen
Part Two (Didn't all Fit)
“She cheated on me, I broke up with her, we took a break and now hopefully we are going to try and see if we could work things out,” I said with all the hope in my heart that things worked out with Nattily and I.
“Wow, that sucks. I’m sorry she cheated on you. But it takes so much to forgive a person who took their trust and crushed it within a few seconds. Ian, you are one of the strongest guys I know,” Catalina smiled at me. She made me feel good about myself and the decisions I made, her and I could be good friends in the near future.
“Yeah, but I had to forgive her, my life sucked without her. It’s like; even if she is twenty feet away I can sense it and I get so much happier. This sounds so dumb and cliché, but she really is the sunshine of my life. Everything goes good when she is around and then; everything goes dark and lonely when she isn’t,” 
Catalina’s eyes started to water, “That was one of the most sweetest things I have ever heard, even if it wasn’t about me. I hope things work out with you and Nattily,” she stood up, “but I have to go, I’ll see you in school,” I got up and walked her to the door, before saying good-bye I hugged her and asked if she wanted a ride, she said no and left. I couldn’t help but think about Nattily, she really meant everything to me even if I didn’t really mean that much to her. I would always put her needs above mine, and the baby’s needs, too, after she had it. I would be there for them in a heartbeat even if we weren’t a family. I would make sure both of them knew how much that meant to me every second of everyday and I would make sure they never forgot it.