iquoteyou

Once upon a time, a perfect man and a perfect woman met. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect.

One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve, this perfect couple was driving their perfect car (a Grand Caravan) along a winding road, when they noticed someone at the side of the road in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help.

There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys.

Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident.

Who was the survivor? (Scroll down for the answer.) 






















The perfect woman survived. She's the only one who really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.

Women stop reading here, that is the end of the joke.

Men keep scrolling****. 






















So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident.

By the way, if you're a woman and you're reading this, this illustrates another point: women never listen.

Girls
Girl #1: Hey.
Girl #2: Hey, is that a new haircut?
Girl #1: Yeah.
Girl #2: I love it!
Girl #1: Really? I have this new girl doing my hair.
Girl #2: Why, what happened to Sharon?
Girl #1:  She moved, her boyfriend cheated on her.
Girl #2: He did not!
Girl #1: Yes! She deserves so much better.
Girl #2: Deffinatley. 
Girl #1: Mhm, oh and I love your shoes!
Girl #2: Thanks. I just bought them at that new store.
Girl #1: Oh, the one that just opened in the mall?
Girl #2:  Yeah. They have really cute things!
Girl #1: Oh, I'm going to have to check it out.
Girl #2: You should.
       [ this goes on for hours]


Guys
Guy #1: Hey, new haircut?
Guy #2: Yup.
Guy #1: Wanna grab a taco?
Guy #2: Totally.

 

 

Cory: Look, Topanga,  now  that  it’s  over

             between us there are a few things of   

             mine that I want  back.  [Grabs  jean     

              jacket]   My jean jacket.

Topanga: Fine, take it. Now go.

Cory: No. There’s one more thing. 

Topanga: I don’t have anything else of yours.

Cory: Yeah, you do.

            You have all my feelings about you and I

            don’t   have  any of yours.  So  everything       

            I’ve ever thought about you, i want back.

Topanga: what are you talking about?

Cory: I thought I could open up to you and tell

            you how I feel.   So I  said  I loved  you, so  

            what? It was the truth. And you just blew

            me off without any explanation.  Without  

            telling me how you feel. I thought I knew

            you, Topanga. But I was wrong.

Topanga:

                     I was scared.

Cory: what?

Topanga: You wanted to know how I feel.

                      I was scared.

Cory:  Of me?

Topanga: No, of what you said. I mean, we’re             

                 only fourteen years old. These   

                  feelings… when… when did you       

                   know?

Cory: Promise you won’t laugh. Remember the

           time  when  we  were  in  my   backyard

          chasing  fireflies?  And  you  had,   like,

           twenty in your jar, and I had one with a  

           broken bulb. And then Eric came outside

           and started teasing us…

Topanga: He said, “Cory loves Topanga.” and

                     you said, “yuck. I hate her.”

Cory: That’s when I knew.

Topanga: Cory, we were only six.

Cory: who cares?

Topanga: How could you know then? I’m not

                    even sure I know what “I love you”  

                    means now.

Cory: Look. All I know is you and I belong

             together. I mean, I have always been

             able to talk to you, to make you laugh,

             and I’ve always, always wanted to take

             care of you.

             Alright. Topanga, I’ve been completely

             honest with you. so… I got my jean  

             jacket so I’ll leave you alone. 

Topanga: So that’s what “i love you” means?

Cory: Yeah. Bye.

Topanga: Cory?

Cory: uh-huh?

Topanga: I love you too.

Cory: I was always hoping you did.

Boy Meets World.