I hate what you've done
to me
You should've just left me alone and leave me be
I want to tell you but you'll never understand
And you'll never want to take my hand
You turned me into an emotional freak
Stupid me I thought I was on a winning streak
I thought we were getting so close
That soon I would be the one you chose
But all you did was make me wanna cry
Most days I wake up wondering why I try?
I know I would still have a smile on my face
If I hadn't met you in the first place
You turned me into a person I never wanted to be
Sometimes I wish I was still me
I wouldn't go crazy over everything you do or say
Then maybe I would want to wake up everyday
I feel like my heart has been stomped on like dirt
Guess I should've listened when they said crushes hurt
I remember when he first said
my name I knew
then things would never be the same I remember when I felt our
hands touch It felt like it was almost too
much
I remember when he first
spoke He was calm and didn't
choke I remember when I
caught his eye As I slowly
smiled and walked by
I remember when I saw him
wave It stayed with me, a
memory to save I remember
when he smiled at me It
was the sweetest thing that ever could be
I remember when he left I got
so blue Cause the worst possible thing had
come true I remember when
I finally saw what was plain to
see I still
remembered him, long after he forgot me
I'm
getting really ANGRY I can't hangle it
I need someone to help me with this s***
He's driving me crazy, I'm going insane
and I feel like all thats inside of me is pain.
Everywhere I look and everywhere I turn he's there
I know he doesn't see me and I know he doesn't care
I hope someday I'll get out of this hell
I'll wake up and it will all be well.
Sometimes
I wish I was elsewhere
even the middle of nowhere
Have you ever gone through a stage
when you feel like your locked in a cage?
When everything always feels the same
and everything seems so calm and tame
You wake up and want to scream so loud
scream until it hurts and people crowd.
Maybe then I would feel a little better
So I wouldn't have to write a sucide letter.
Everyone always sees me glad
But its quite different when I get sad.
I suddenly seem to disappear
As I begin to grow much fear
Would anyone ever really care
If I suddenly wasn't there?
What would happen if I was gone
Would they just forget me and move on?
Maybe someday we'll wait and see
What would happen if they lost me.
*** I wrote this five years
ago at a very dark time in my life... I think this was what
some might call Rock Bottom... The funny thing is a few
months later I met my boyfriend and I have never been
this upset again. Its funny how life gets you down and then picks
you up. :)
People
are going to want you, need you, exceed you, take you, love you, hate you, play you, rate you, save you, and break you.
But thats what makes
you