I need advice.
my name is nicole, i'm a
fourteen year old girl. i have endured several tradgedies in my
life, including the passing of my parents. but that is not the
point of this quote. i'm a ninth grader kind of just trying to
survive in high school. freshman year has been hell. i feel for my
best friend. i think i love him. or as many other people would call
it, infatuated. well, i'm 5'2'' and weigh 150 lbs.
therefore, i don't have a flat stomach. i'm a little pudgy.
i get made fun of everyday, mostly because me and my best
friend, *insert name here*, are from two different worlds. he's
like, popular. and then there's me. smart, 'fat',
'ugly', 'misfit', you know, the usual. we talk
everyday, we always have cute little conversations and moments...i
don't think he knows how imortant that is to me! i told him i
like him. that went well, i guess. i told him i hoped him knowing
would't ruin our friendship, he said it wouldn't. but today
is the first time since i told him two weeks ago. again, sort
of off but on topic. well, thanks to judgement and fear of not
being accepted, i now have a serious eating dis order. i don't
eat, like, ever. i don't eat meat. i just survive on water and
cereal bars. sometimes, i don't even eat cereal bars. i take
dietary pills and i'm on pills so i get my necessary iron
intake everyday. i take about four pills a day. i have for the past
month. me and him really dont really talk about this because i
don't want him to know i'm changing for him. yeah,
i've lost weight, but i'm so insecure. i still feel ugly.
my eating disorder is getting worse. the year is ending. summer is
coming. i'm hanging out with him friday for a few hours. i hate
my body. i wish i could change it. i wish teenage years weren't
so tough. i wish i couldd be happy about myself. i wish things
would work themselves out. i wish he could see everything i've
done for him.
THIS IS NOT FOR ATTENTI0N ; I NEED ADVICE .... PLEASE !!!
SOMEBODY....ANYBODY....