iwuvyou4eva

Status: I come here in awkwardness :)
Joined: August 28, 2010
Last Seen: 1 month
Birthday: March 30
user id: 122892
Gender: F

hey, i'm rachel
birthday: 03/30/1996
life: go on witty/tumblr, college,
chill at barnes and noble, drink tea,
pilates, watch anime, and write

obsessions: internet, fruity flavor
 gum, over-sized t-shirts, the hobo life,
 super smash bros, dogs, BTS, and Lush

dislikes: waking up early, video ads,
socializing, and meat (I'm vegetarian)

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Quotes by iwuvyou4eva

Okay we'll do our best! I want your honest opinion on a weak will and stony facial expressions and eating like a caveman and weird ideas on gender and putting on lots of makeup to make others comfortable and wearing something CUTE and listening to podcasts about adulthood and voting socialist and not having friends and knowing people don't want you there but if you don't show up they'll just talk crap about you and size M being large for Asian women and all this sadness that does a bad job
coping with rejection and the surrounding air of paranoia that yields into self-importance and god-like status and the likelihood of boring the person reading this.
I guess I can try to make sense of the paranoia. I want their attention. It bothers me because the signs are always there. People are not here, but I imagine them and it seems like they are close to me and accompany me everywhere I go. I want to be happy without it. But the way things are always aligned, it seems to be working in my favor. I don't know whether to get my hopes up or to feel angry at myself for insisting on this. Why doesn't one of them just confess? Why am I so afraid to end this delusion? Will they reach their goal eventually or am I tied to this for good? Am I already too attached? I know. It's weird. Please go away.
wine > attention from boys
5 pm: woke up with my dog. felt incredibly hungry and wanted to leave my house to get groceries but didn't want to go to a store. probably anxious thoughts come up out of the pressure I put myself in to be this super confident and healthy person which is not the reality of my day-to-day practices. I feel depressed and antagonized whenever I try to be welcoming of positivity. I pretty much expect the worst and accept that reclusive habits decisively work out in the end.

10 pm: went downstairs in the kitchen with the intention of asking my mother to open a can of black beans for me but ate a granola bar instead. still unsure why I didn't boil water to drink tea because that same reason to avoid it is fully ingrained at this very moment cause I usually would be worried to not have drank my tea by now (awake for almost 12 hrs)

12 am: back in the kitchen and made an amateur oat bake topped with almond butter. realizing that I should have added strawberries to it. watched wolf on wall street, got hungry during it so I ate a pear and the rest of the apple pie snaps in a bag (no regrets luckily)

4 am: right now I just finished an episode of Toradora! and drank an entire water bottle. about to do a workout video requiring dumb bells. my post-workout meal should be sweet potato fries, but can I muster enough willpower to battle my craving for candy?

 

he 

dresses comfy, his hair; disheveled and black like his eyes.

being around him,

i felt my loose hands clench.

 my skin blew up with fire and the song of spring

traced along the winter air that intensified as our gaze almost embraced..

i sometimes purse my lips and other times,

i laugh so loud that i can't hear.his breaths of ease and insecurity.

we seem nervous and silent like

everyone else. But we are enigmatic and

bold and speak through moving eyelids.

 

he is a   boy

 and a little bit more.


 

 

 

just great.


                I ' m  i n  l o v e



pity for himI would prevent it if I could..
ihabeemany years
since I had such an exemplary vegetable.
                                            -PRIDE AND PREJUDICE


              This boy is way above my standards, but  that's okay.

 He't.

format: MissAnna

Me: Can I have a cute boyfriend?  i'm waiting on a phonethat ]

Worldhaha how
                   abou

no.