jamiex3x3

Status:
Joined: August 9, 2008
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 53409

I'M JAMIE
in my opinion, i'm pretty simple. i'm not gonna sit here and tell you my whole life and say that i'm like other girls because honestly, i dont know what it means to be a "typical teenager" i'm different and odd. i'm obnoxious and loud. i don't smoke, or do drugs, i'm clean :)  i hate liars, i hate creeps, i hate flat out rude people, i hate 2faced people, even though i know deep down we're all a little 2faced. i hate losing friends, i hate fighting. i love running, i love lil wayne, i love my friends, i love my sister, i love sitting on my driveway at night with kara weaver and talking about anything, i love dancing, i love my dog, RIP betsy<3, i love laughing & hate when people think they can walk all over me, because they can't.
WEEZY MOTHER FUCKERS. <3
11.4.10. <3
 

jamiex3x3's Favorite Quotes

everyone has some sort of pain that they deal with, each and every day. some more severe than others. i don't know what i did to deserve this issue that i've been struggling with since the age of ten. i try to hide it every day, and i don't expect anyone to understand. mom, i know we don't get along. and i'm really confused on why. i wish we could get along & talk everyday. i try to talk to you, but every time i do, i feel like i shouldn't even bother. i've been trying so hard just for one day. one day for us not to fight, one day for us not to scream. you yell at me all the time. and it's hard for me to understand why. i'm fifteen. i'm dealing with a lot. you're fourty something, you're dealing with a hell of a lot more than i am. but you're still my mom, and i'm still your daughter. why is this so difficult for us? why do you hit me? why do i go to sleep crying all the time? why do the simpliest things become the most difficult things for us to let go of. no matter how hard i try, something always goes wrong. maybe things will change one day..maybe they won't. only god knows. i wish i knew why this happens to us, and i wish i could change it but unfortunately i can't..all i can do is pray, try my best & hope for things to change. i wish i could just poof and make all the issues go away, buttt i can't. ya know what i really hate? complaining to my friends that i'm upset. then they ask why? i say "oh, my mom. as always" and they're just like oh. but they don't understand. and they never know what to say. i most definately don't expect them to because they haven't been in my shoes. & i'm happy for them that they don't have to deal with this. they don't have to know how it feels to be abused, by one of the people you love the most. yeah, you abuse me verbally & physically. but ya know what hurts the most? the verbal abuse. shocking? yeahh. probably. but that;s only because people probably think it bothers me more that you hit me, and push me. and smack me all the time. but really, i'm used to it. & i should be used to the harsh words by now, but i'm not? hm. it may sound absolutely pathetic but in all honesty,,it hurts me more when you yell at me & say the things you do. some which i shouldn't repeat on the internet. ofcourse there's more things going on in my life but this is usually the reason i cry. i hate crying. i can't even explain how much i hate the feeling of the tears rolling down my face, even though it's healthy. i hate thinking to myself how no matter how hard i try, this happens. i have 3 more years then i can move out!(: but what if in those three years,,,something really bad happens? like, we really don't get along as it is now, but. who knows what's gonna happen in those 3 years? it seems like a short time but for me, it may just be the longest three years i've ever had to deal with. i've been dealing with this ongoing, growing pain, for five years, 3 more years, that's a lot considering what i've...we've been through. i hate how everything i do you yell at me for. i hate how you hate my friends. i hate how you email your friends about how awful i am. i hate how this is happening. i hate saying "i have an abusive mom" i hate going to the guidance counsler about you. i hate crying to friends about it. i hate not being strong enough to hide the pain. i hate how i walk in to school crying. i hate how i have to miss out on things i like to do because you won't let me. i hate the feeling i get when we fight. i hate how you can't trust me. i hate the feeling when i go home. i hate how scared i am of you. i hate how i wish i could be better. i hate how whenever i think of us, i cry. you know what else really sucks? when you don't know how to explain it to people. do you remeber the one day in church, when he told us about a son and mother who always got along and always said "i love you" to each other before school every day? well. remeber how the son got in a train accident that day? and remeber how the son and mother got in a fight that morning, and they left without saying i love you to eachother. that's really what worries me to the highest extent, i'm always afraid of that happening to us. we fight all the time & it cannot be healthy for us. but, i'm always afraid that one of us is going to die and our last words to eachother are gonna be awful words that we will someday regret. mom, if i died tonight? would you miss me? would you regret everything? you have no idea how much i love you! seriously. you're my mom. you're my one and only mom, i'll never ever ever have another mom. & i wish i could say loud and proud that me and my mom are best friends. but i can't. i hate talking about it. & at this exact moment i'm pouring my feelings out to a computer screen & i'm crying all over my homework. i always sit around and think what it would be like to have a better relationship with you? hmm. but, aparently everything happens for a reason; and i kinda wish i knew what the reason for this is. god obviously has something in store. all i can really do is cry every now and then to let the pain out, fake a smile and keep on going. i'm not giving up. i'm gonna try each and every day to make it better, though i probably will not succeed, afterall, it takes two to make a relationship work, so mom, please try with me.): i love you <3
2 3 jamiex3x3 jamiex3x3
poems
This quote does not exist.
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quote
how could you do this to someone your supposed to love? you're supposed to care about me and understand me. you're supposed to be the one i can go to when i need help or when growing up just sucks. you're supposed to be my best friend. & yet you do all this to me? and you're ok with it? if i were you i wouldn't be able to sleep. thanks for all the extra tears i never needed and god damn straight didn't want. you're making me a stronger person. but when i get around to it, i'll never be like you. i'll be the complete opposite. i'm not sure why god had this in store for me but it's something i unfortunately go through. no matter what i do. or how hard i try. it's always my fault. well i hope one day god gets you back. because i have to go through all the crap you decide you wanna put me through. whenever i hear the sound of your voice i get scared. you're lucky i don't hit back, because we all know i'm stronger than you. but one day.. if you you push me far enough.. just remember one thing, i've dealt with it long enough. and this time, i'm done. i can't get you out of my life unfortunately, but i can be done with you.how would it make you feel? well.. it's starting now. i'm done. i'll love you forever and i wish we could be different but we can't. it's in my mind forever. it's in the back of my head. and it will stay with me my whole life.
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vent
Is It Just Me Or Dont You Feel Like VALENTINES Day Is The Worst Day Of All Because For All The Single People In The World  It Makes Them Feel All Alone And Not Loved By Someone Like All The Other Couples That Go Out To A Dinner And Movie?




All Mine :)  <3 If You Agree
1 1 Ccostax Ccostax
love
i'm not missing you
i'm not going through the motions waiting and hoping you call me
i'm not missing you
you might have had me open but i must be going because
i got life to do
i know i'm usually hanging on
i used to hate to see you gone
but this time its different
i don't even feel the distance
i'm not missing
i'm not missing you
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inspirational
i've seen so many good friendships fall apart that it's not even funny. it's happened to me & it's happened to other people. when you're best friends with someone, you are with that person a lot. or you talk to them a lot. and you might end up getting tired of them. or needing space. or realizing things you don't wanna realize about them, then you find yourself wishing things were the way they were before. it's happened to me, plenty of times. and it's happened to many of my friends & i hate seeing it happen. if you have a best friend hold on to them. & if you need space, get that space but don't let too much time pass you. a good friendship is worth so much & if you lose someone you really cared about, it hurts. more than anything. i've seen the best of friends walk away from each other & it's an awful thing. people who said they'd be friends forever no longer speak. they walk past eachother like they were never best friends, as if they never stayed up talking on the phone all night or telling each other they'd be best friends forever, or like every second you've spent with them is now nothing. it's really sad. & i hate seeing it happen. </3
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friendship
if today wasn't the worst day ever

i'm pretty sure i'll lose my mind when that day comes
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away messages
isnt it weird when
 we ignore the ones who adore us
adore the ones that ignore us
love the ones who hurt us
and hurt the ones that love us.
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holiday
people don't change
     they become more of who they really are
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inspirational

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funny