jjflan

its 3 am
now 4, 5
she cant sleep
 she dont feel alive
sitting with the phone in her lap
but no messages, the screen stays black
the outlook on life negative, bleak
emptied from the heart scared and weak
noone understands what its liike
to enjoy watching yourself bleed at night
people pay attention to her
clothes and her hair
but they dont know whats under there
everything is black and white
except for the blood
that shines so
bright
the scars thast cover her entire body
and thats all that she see
the hours keep passing
its time for school
her living hell
harsh and cruel
failing gym no good at athletics
does running from her problems count as extra credit?
the notebook and pen are her life
except for
of coarse her knife
self esteem lingering so low
praying that somehow it will go up so, she wont have to break down and cry
when she looks into the mirror and sees
the reasons why she
cries herself to sleep at night
even though it feels so right
  once again its 3 am
hasnt slept in weeks no longer on her feet
on her side watching blood pour out
not alot but shes full of doubt
scars have built up over the years
somehow able to hoold back tears
she grabs her pen and her paper
even though it will not save her
however it will delay
her fate
her bloody suicide
  will have to wait

love doesnt belong in a place that will do everything in its power to tear it apart<3

the weapon she used was her choice,
the words she heard come out of your mouth
werent

sadness is more or less like a head cold
with patience it passes
depression is like cancer
-barbara kingsolver

sitting and watching my thighs and wrists bleed
why oh why did you have to leave
i cannt sleep i cant eat
i just cry and ill bleed
beautiful whyd you have to run away
because now i cant stay
you could be dead for all i know
wich is why i have to go
to heaven or hell to see if your there
and if your not just know that ill always care<3

what if i died tomorow
would you miss me here?

maybe i wont live to see morning
but would it matter to you if you knew what i was going through
maybe its because im so boring
so ill just cut open my wrists, im sorry about all of this

blood is everywere but all i see is the memoryof what used to be
i dont believe it but i see it it came crashing down all around me,it cant be