jonel_nikki

And they ran.
chapter one.

I remember that moment like it was yesterday. 14 November 2010, I was walking home from school and there he was, his ice cold eyes locked on the innocent teenagers, we just wanted a good weekend, some partying, just breaking loose from the stress of school and exams, but he had other ideas for us.

He came closer, nobody seemed to notice but my heart pounded in my chest, my face broke out in nervous sweat, he grabbed my arm. Screams of suprise escaped the careless group as he dragged me over the pavement. They ran, and ran, until they were out of my few. A hard hit from behind zoned me out of the situation.

Oh, I'm Jayde Walker, and I was murdered.

the difference

- c h a p t e r - o n e  -

I walked into the house and threw my backpack down, rushing to the kitchen.I grabbed the blade and went up to my room, sliding it over my wrist slowly,letting the blood drip on my jeans, I washed up and put it back just in time to see my mom staring at my wrist intently with tears in her eyes."We have to go,your gonna be late for your therapy." she said softly and I followed her quietly into the car.

*And the tears stream down your face. . When you lose something you can't replace..* I sang along to the music,that made me think of Ryan.He always said he'd think of that song as our song if something ever happened to me.But nowadays, it's the different way around.

"Hi Mandy. . " I greeted my therapist and took a seat.

"So I see you've been hurting yourself again." she cut me off. .

Kayleigh: http://api.ning.com/files/UwM3PST6NHASA1FEN7UmPyrhe7-div8lFBDNhERstVHzVZ-EOjUMVQwhDKQrOcTQ6iYtNXM0FUwo5s98Tc3p3ULlGt-rnm9K/latin_Pretty_Girl5.jpg

Kayleigh's wrist: http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_kz9-9keamn0/TS53V735iqI/AAAAAAAAAGE/6RSxGCGt0pY/s1600/pictures+2011+441.jpg

Kayleighs outfit:  http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=55646519

 

 

the difference

- p r o l o g u e -

I sobbed into Ryan's old sweatshirt as I sat in his room.His mom always let me come

here when I really missed him, like today.I was at school again for the first time since

I was booked off for depression after Ryan's funeral.Everyone was acting so understanding

saying I looked better, but the truth was, I was falling apart. I have anorexia and depression,

I lost my best friend to suicide, four hours before my birthday. I lost my whole world, my

name's Kayleigh and I'm learning to live with The Difference.

- I'm back to witty -

So about a few months ago, I left witty and today
I was randomly walking down the street and then
this quotes popped into my head,I was trying to
figure out where I'd seen it and I pulled out my
phone.typed in the quote,boom; wittyprofiles.com

So now I haven't seen this new look of witty or that
so I'm confused and nah I'm not liking it but my point
ia, witty i've missed you ♥ .

just another vent .
dear diary,
So I've been really tired lately,staying up ll the time.I got a text from this
guy I really like,it said "F/ck you,I don't need fat,ugly people like you in
my life,even less in my relationship." I hurt myself real bad but who cares
right? I talked to people but they just go tell everyone else and now what
I'm so confuzed I just feel so ugly,worthless and stupid..It feels like I pray
& hope forever but nothing changes,how long am I supposed to wait till
someone actually loves me for who I am with all my faults and imperfection
- Jay

just another vent .
dear diary,
So today was like every other moment of my life lately,awful.People don't realize they hurt me.
I don't want this anymore,I wish I was prettier,I wish somebody cared.Clearly things won't change.
I was supposed to hang out with my new friends,they never came.Guess mom was wrong again,
I am not accepted by people.Sometimes I just wanna run a blade across my arm again,just to feel
better like I always did.Or drink tablets till I get dizzy.Anything to take away these comments from my
head.I wish I was normal.
- Jay.

leaving witty.

I've been ignoring the hate,just deleting the comments for a while now but honestly, I already hate myself enough so thanks to that guy for every single hate comment every day.. But yeah I failed. So I'll be shutting down my self harm and story account too this week so if you read or anything,I'm sorry.Well then this is it.
bye everyone ♥