Wanna Kill Yourself?
Imagine this. You come home from school one day. You’ve had
yet another horrible day. You’re just ready to give up. So
you go to your room, close the door, and take out that suicide note
you’ve written and rewritten over and over and over You take
out those razor blades, and cut for the very last time. You grab
that bottle of pills and take them all. Laying down, holding the
l
etter to your chest, you close your eyes for the very last time.
A few hours later, your little brother knocks on your door to
come tell you dinners ready. You don’t answer, so he walks
in. All he sees is you laying on your bed, so he thinks
you’re asleep. He tells your mom this. Your mom goes to
your room to wake you up. She notices something is odd. She grabs
the paper in your hand and reads it. Sobbing, she tries to wake
you up. She’s screaming your name. Your brother, so
confused, runs to go tell Dad that “Mommy is crying and
sissy won’t wake up.” Your dad runs to your room. He
looks at your mom, crying, holding the letter to her chest,
sitting next to your lifeless body. It hits him, what’s
going on, and he screams. He screams and throws something at the
wall. And then, falling to his knees, he starts to cry. Your mom
crawls over to him, and they sit there, holding each other,
crying. The next day at school, there’s an announcement.
The principal tells everyone about your suicide. It takes a few
seconds for it to sink in, and once it does, everyone goes
silent. Everyone blames themselves. Your teachers think they were
too hard on you. Those mean popular girls, they think of all the
things they’ve said to you. That boy that used to tease you
and call you names, he can’t help but hate himself for
never telling you how beautiful you really are. Your ex
boyfriend, the one that you told everything to, that broke up
with you.. He can’t handle it. He breaks down and starts
crying, and runs out of the school. Your friends? They’re
sobbing too, wondering how they could never see that anything was
wrong, wishing they could have helped you before it was too late.
And your best friend? She’s in shock. She can’t
believe it. She knew what you were going through, but she never
thought it would get that bad… Bad enough for you to end
it. She can’t cry, she can’t feel anything. She
stands up, walks out of the classroom, and just sinks to the
floor. Shaking, screaming, but no tears coming out. It’s a
few days later, at your funeral. The whole town came. Everyone
knew you, that girl with the bright smile and bubbly personality.
The one that was always there for them, the shoulder to cry on.
Lots of people talk about all the good memories they had with
you, there were a lot. Everyone’s crying, your little
brother still doesn’t know you killed yourself, he’s
too young. Your parents just said you died. It hurts him, a lot.
You were his big sister, you were supposed to always be there for
him. Your best friend, she stays strong through the entire
service, but as soon as they start lowering your casket into the
ground, she just loses it. She cries and cries and doesn’t
stop for days. It’s two years later. The whole school talks
to a counselor/therapist at least once a week. Your teachers all
quit their job. Those mean girls have eating disorders now. That
boy that used to tease you cuts himself. Your ex boyfriend
doesn’t know how to love anymore and just sleeps around
with girls. Your friends all go into depression. Your best
friend? She tried to kill herself. She didn’t succeed like
you did, but she tried…your brother? He finally found out
the truth about your death. He self harms, he cries at night, he
does exactly what you did for years leading up to your suicide.
Your parents? Their marriage fell apart. Your dad became a
workaholic to distract himself from your death. Your mom got
diagnosed with depression and just lays in bed all day. People
care. You may not think so, but they do. Your choices don’t
just effect you. They effect everyone. Don’t end your life,
you have so much to live for. Things can’t get better if
you give up. I’m here for absolutely anyone that needs to
talk, no matter who you are. Even if we’ve NEVER talked
before, I’m here for you.
nmq, but seriously, I'm
here.