killmeryan

The moon will illuminate my room,
and soon I'm consumed by my doom.

I dated my boyfriend for almost five years, He even moved in with me three years ago. Then one day, he just not home. few days later. He packs all of his stuff, and moves in with one of my old friends michelle. Can someone just put me out of my misery please. And the as*hole couldn't even tell me. I thought he was moving with his dad. Found out from one of my friends he moved in with his new girlfriends. Like please, someone just shoot me.- ryan.

All i want to do is vent.
 My mom never drank til I turned 14 atleast from what I knew.
She is a binge drinker. She drinks and drinks and drinks and sometiems blames me. I know its not true but she wants her drinking to be everyone elses fault but hers because shes so upset and regrets everything she did once shes sober. She targets people. Like me, shes destroyed my room, smashed my things and has even hit me. It got so bad one time I used my strength against her. I'm alot bigger than my mother, and I ended up breaking three of her ribs. She once told me when she was drinking and completely loaded, not to mention came to my school to tell me that if I were to come home that night, she's kill me with her own two hands. I'm going to be nineteen in a month. And I know that may be hard to beleive.  I've dealt with this for five years. My family doesn't know shes on the booze again and if I were to tell them to get her help, she would tell them ive smoked pot. And not just the occasional doob, but I quit for a while now to try and be there for mental support. She doesn't care about life anymore. She doesn't care if she dies. And I'm almost at that point where I don't know why I help her. I have no kids. I've already raised my now 10 year old brother pretty much because she was never home always gambling because his dad was a drunk and she disliked him that much she ignored the fact they were together. So ever since I was 9, I have been taking care of my now 20 yr old sister, brother and myself. And now my mother. I don't have children. I just want my childhood back. That will never happen. So I put on a front, act as happy as possible. I also drink myself. But not to that extent. I just don't understand, I'm alot like my mother which I am proud of. Atleast like the mother, I remember who was actually there for me. I just want my mom back. Not whoever this drunk is. -killmeryan.

If you don't want my love babe, just say so.

Mom-"Hey, honey you know that song you like?"
                                                                                      Daughter-' Which one? '
"I'm sexy and I know it,"                  
                                                                                      ' Ya?'
"Well I got one for you ;)"

"I walk in your and this is what I see,
There's a condom on the floor and its staring at me.
I have a rage in my stomach
And I'm not afraid to show it show it show it...
Your grounded and you know it."

When just being here. Alive and healthy.. Isn't always enough to wake up too.

My mom showed up, at eight am. Completely loaded. She started freaking. Over nothing. Literally, just went and got really mad. Broke the gate. Punched my boyfriend in the face. tried to beat up his dad. Got mad at me because i went to school and left her alone. Told me not to come back. Followed me to school to yell and tell me how much she dont need me anymore and how she wanted to kill me..  Kicked me out. Told me I'm worth nothing. So why am I home now.. ? Because shes my mom. She's just a little broken. And needs her pieces put back together again. I just need help finding all mine first.

I don't even know what one direction is! And I've never seen or read the hunger games. I'm so lost on witty :(