"i felt
like i had to work hard to deserve
everything.
even the basic, for granted things.
i couldn't just eat, i couldn't just be loved.
in the same way i would compensate for a meal,
i always thought i could only love after making up.
i had to keep scores so i could stay one step behind.
i had to suffer to prove to myself that i was deserving. what a heartbreakingly silly thing to have
learnt."
I am not trying to raise my value, but God gave me a high value
and status. He made me a distinct human being. I am not like
animals fighting each other and practicing random sexual
habits.
I have to preserve my value and surrender it to my Creator after
my death, just as he delivered it to me
My heart bleeds for the loss of my homeland How I hope
that my feet touch his ground and breathe his air. I ask my
heart, and it answers me and torments me, in love for my country
and grieving for its separation. only my heart understands what
is going on in my arteries