lifeisallama

Mum: Sweetie, your father is right, you know.
Me: Well, if you like him so much maybe you should just marry hi-

...-wait.

My friend: *burps*
Me:
Friend:
Me:
Friend:
Me: ...Christ, we must be good friends.

*Hears fireworks*

*Looks outside*

*Sees nothing*

o-O

I see these quotes about love and
 whilst one part of me is melting on the inside from the
utter adorableness...

Another part of me is sat there blowing my nose into tissues and
lobbing popcorn at the computer screen whilst
lamenting my seemingly a-sexual life
and screaming,
"SCREW YOU, WORLD."

Me: You, sir, are what I like to call a 'flame retardant' person.

Ex: LOLwut? Xp

Me: Minus the flame part.

Ex: Ur such a b*tch :'(

Me: Honey, if you're only just realising this, it's a wonder that our relationship went down like the Titanic.

Me: *dancing like an idiot to random music* "SHAKE THE BOOTY!"

My Older Sister: "...Y'know, when you're older, I am so going to get you drunk."

Does anyone else
get that thing where you learn a new word and after that, it comes up 15 times in your day?

It's creepy. I always have that.

(...Not to say I'm that illiterate, though.)
(Me thinks.)

Whenever I change my password I always have to go back to try it incase I managed to type my password wrong twice when creating it.

Not that I'm paranoid.

That completely awkward moment when your throat emits those little inhuman noises that you can't control and people stare at you like you farted.

But you can't explain that it was your throat...because throats aren't meant to make noises.

So you either look around at others to take the blame off you. Or don't acknowledge it.

Hopefully not just me. Hopefully.