lo0fallen0ve

there's things I can't do anymore:
can't trust my music on shuffle, because the first few seconds of that song are enough to stop my heart
but I can't bring myself to delete it
can't hang out in certain parts of school, because those couches are a place filled with memories of you
but that's where my friends hang out
 can't even look at my gameboy, because we used to play pokemon together
but my brother plays it and leaves it lying around
can't think about anything that could remind me of you, not that I have reason to think of
soccer, double double coffees, blue, techno, pizza
or how it felt to be secretly in love with you..
but that's not a secret anymore
and now you're gone

</3
 

she sits there alone,
but she's comfortable this way.
when she's alone no one notices that
her cheerfulness is forced, or that
her eyes are missing the happiness
they once had, or how she winces at
his name,
his sayings,
or anything that could remind her of
him . . .

& The night you think can't get any worse always does.
1 new message:
Okay don't want to sound harsh but i've got absolutely no interest past friendship... Sorry
And you curl up tightly in your bed and wonder how someone like him ever got your heart in the first place.
And even after the last twenty four hours you remember how things were two weeks prior, before he fell for your best friend, and then found out you liked him.
And of course he blames you when she won't date him. And it's like he hasn't been one of your best friends for the last year. It's like that one weekend canceled out everything and he barely talks to you.
Maybe one day he'll see that he hurt you.
But hopefully by then you're over him.
*- ♥   

Me: I want a new fish for my brithday.
Mom: Well, your fish might reject the new one and kill it.
Me: ... How about you get me a sweater instead.

                                                                         
  love kills slowly; but it's the best way to die.   
           ♥            

There are sounds tied to the core of your being,
The recess bell is a magical sound of your past.
But his voice : is the sound of your → future.

 ♥ 

Loneliness

Her smile hung loosely
like a veit, barely concealing
the hatred that took refuge
in her eyes.
And the constant beating of
her heart, almost made you
think she wasn't empty inside.
She was learning how not
to let the out side world
affect her. But it would
take some time.
Thought it was time she
didn't have. Pain, anger,
emptiness: those she had
plenty of. It was the
time she was missing.
The times when they talked;
the times that although
he wasn't hers, she could
hope one day he would
be; the times when a
smile on his face made
her eys sparkle, but now
that smile wasn't directed at her,
not even in friendship.
Now that smile seemed to
tear her soul in two,
releasing every feeling
except loneliness.
Inside that torn up heart
the loneliness stayed,
to be occasionally
replaced by longing.
Longing for one of those
eye twinkling smiles to be
thrown her way.
Then maybe the hatred
and emptiness in her eyes,
her mind, her soul, her heart,
her very being
could be replaced with something else,
if only for a second,
even if it's only friendship.
This broiken hearted,
hollow souled girl
was in hate with this boy,
because he wasn't in love with her.


I wrote this a while ago, I know it's long, but I think it's pretty good.