but she cant help herself she keeps pretending that he is looking back at her
she lost a part of her that day he hurt her so much, but she hurt him more
and this is something she knows she blames herself for having it come to this
she cant fathom that she will never be in his arms again or that she wont touch her lips to his
or hold his hand, or even make him smile she tries to tell herself that things happen for a reason
but this one she cant understand so she hides herself behind a fake smile, a fake laugh
she tries to be with her friends but she doesnt want to be she just wants to be with him
she listens to the song that reminds her of him over and over again, and with tears rolling down her cheek
she whispers to herself, why? he was the only one who knew that kissing her forehead
gave her butterflies, and that tickling her could always make her laugh he always knew the right thing to say to make her smile and he knew that his arms were the one place that she felt safest she tried to bare the pain and not let it show but one day she realized this wasnt her she learned a lot of things from him
and there will be a part of him that is always with her and she hopes a part of her will always be with him too
she realized she couldnt be fake anymore that she had to let her emotions out even if it was only to herself
she told herself that she was going to be strong she learned not to make someone your world, because when they leave you are left with nothing she learned that trusting yourself was the most important thing and that was something that she had lost but slowly and surely, she would gain it back she learned that compassion and love were two things to never take for granted and yet she had taken both
she realized that she wanted to change but she didnt want to change for him she wanted to change for herself so from that moment on, she tried her hardest to be the person that she knew she once was the person that she was meant to be and for the first time in what seemed like forever she put on a real smile, and started to let go even though she knew that there would always be a small part that was going to hang on and slowly memories of him and her became something that she could smile about and she realized that she was blessed to have him in her life for the time that she did