Ways to annoy people:
Change your name to "John Aaaaasmith" for the great
glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian
name, and demand that people pronounce each "a."
The broccoli says
'I look like a small tree', the mushroom says 'I look
like an umbrella', the walnut says 'I look like a
brain', and the banana says 'Can we please change the
subject?'