lovinglife2535

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Would you believe me if I said I was sorry?
I know I ended it. I know it's my fault. I know you like her, and I'm so happy for you, honest. And I know it seems like I'm over you, but I still love you. My heart just has moments where it just breaks because you're not there to hold it together. Can't you tell I'm a disaster? And that you saying you were only talking to me to be nice just destroyed me? You promised you would stay my friend forever, no matter what happened. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry I ruined everything between us and you feel awkward talking to me and that I hate your mom and I still get jealous when I know I don't have to right to when you talk to her, or to my best friend. I'm so sorry. I know I have no right to, and I never wanted to be one of those irrational girls who are ruled by their emotions but tonight...I just can't help it. 

I know I've said your relationship with my boyfriend doesn't bother me, because I'm so close with your ex boyfriend. But seriously, please at least stop rubbing it in my face that you've been on the phone with him for five hours, or that the two of you have plans, or dangle all the things he's told you in my face. stop. It doesn't help that I know you used to like him. If I'm venting about him, don't look like you know why he's mad at me. It's not fair to do that and just not tell me. It's driving me crazy.

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I needed to tell someone but I don't know who so WITTY!
       I want him to be my first... <3
but I don't want to now... And I'm scared it's going to hurt a lot...