luvmeplz

Status: just another average girl who is obsessed with witty <3
Joined: February 21, 2013
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 350875
Gender: F

luvmeplz's Favorite Quotes

there should be a medicine that cures heartbreak


when you're grumpy
remember there are like, 6 billion other people in this world.
at least a million of them are grumpy too.


love
it's better than hating

smile
even
when
life
is
giving
you
a
hard
time
because
you're
better
than
that
Do you ever start rubbing your eyes
and then it feels really good and you can't stop so it's like eye masturbatÍ
on


& Sometimes people write the things that
                                       THEY CAN'T SAY.



 

Stupid products instructions: 

On a knife sharpener:
Caution :
Knives are sharp
(isn't that the point of the sharpener?)

On shin pads for cyclists :
Shin guards cannot protect any part of the body, they do not cover
(well sh-t)

In a microvave oven manual : 
Do not use for drying pets
(Ah...That's why my dog is blind)

On a Harry Potter wizards broom : 
This broom does not actually fly
(How i'm supposed to play Quidditch?)

On a bottle of laundry detergent : 
Remove clothing before distributing in washing machine
(Can someone turn on the washing machine while i get in it? I need to wash my clothes)

On a muffin packet
Remove wrapper,open mouth,insert muffin,eat.
(You lost me at remove wraper)

In a kettle instruction manual :
The appliance is switched on by setting the "ON/OF" button to the "ON" position
(So what does the off button do then?)

On a ketchup bottle : 
Instruction : Put on food
(What? they told me it would open up my pores)


If i was a boy:

Me: hey girl spell 'me'
Girl: okay..M-E
Me: you missed out the D
Girl: there's no D in me
Me: not yet baby










 
who cares if school doesn't teach us how to raise a family or

get a job, at least i can find the area of a triangle







 



 
If i was a boy:

Me: how many planets are there
Girl: i dunno, 8?
Me: well there's gon be 7 after i destroy Uranus