madii126

Status:
Joined: June 19, 2008
Last Seen: 8 years
user id: 50970
my names madii marie
i play soccer and volleyball
i blow out my candles on the 21st of september
im an only child and love the attention
i am one of those ppl that you have to get to know to before you learn to love me
i am also very honest
i tell you how it is and dont expect anything less
i hate liars
tell me whats on your mind cause in the end lies just end up hurting more
if you dont like me
thats fine i dont like you either
i have a hard time trusting ppl though
so if u wanna hang with me dont expect me to open up right away
i love my friends and would do anything for them
if you mess with me or do anything to one of my friends
you are going to regret it cause i will kick your ass
dont think you can hurt me or my friends and then everything just be okayy
if thats what you think- dream on
if you can handle all that
your cool in my book


Quotes by madii126

Promises broken little by little.
Commitment fading inch by inch.
Tears falling second by second.
Im scared about what might happen next.
Is my happiness worth losing his?
                                Scared of the future, its what a lot of ppl say...
Scared of what comes next in every dingle way..
I want him to stay.
I need him to be there, but what if hes not?
Ill go through the motions of life,
living through them but not really feeling them.
Fighting and fighting to hide all my fears
but they're starting to show just like the tears.
Please stay, please be there, please never turn away.
I thought i made you happy but i guess just not in that kinda way.
The guilt of that keeps hurting, its hurting more and more each day.
I dont know what to do...
all i know right now is im afraid of losing you.
Loving someone...
is wanting whats best for them
whether that includes you are not...
I dont forgive people because im weak...
i forgive them becasue
im strong enough to know
that people make mistakes
Most teenage girls
Can’t stop
looking at themselves in the mirror,
Can’t help but
tell themselves how lovely they are,
Well I’m not like
“most teenage girls”
When I look at myself in the mirror
All I can see
is everything that went wrong with it
Eyes to big for my face,
Ears that stick out as far as they possibly could,
A nose filled with black heads,
Chapped lips; with one lip being larger than the other.
Those are all the things
people see,
just by looking at my face
well all the things I think they see.
The things they don’t see,
The things I am the only one
that will ever be able to see;
those big bags under my eyes
from restless nights of
hating who I am,
every tear that ever
ran down my face
and the reasons why they came,
the secrets hidden deep into my eyes.
These are things people don’t see
And I hope they never will.
You learn to hid the things you hate;
People don’t know
how much make up covers,
such as black eyeliner;
worn to cover up the bloodshot eyes
from crying night after night.
It sucks looking in the mirror
and never being good enough
and always hating the person looking back at you.
Well I want things to change;
When I look in the mirror,
I want to see a strong, independent girl
Who is happy to be the person she is
And loves almost everything about her.
What if you were a mistake
what if when god made you it was an accident
i know they say god doesnt make mistakes but what if he made just one,... you
you ahve no idea how bad this hurts to feel like this
i wish not even on my worst enemy this feeling
this feeling i had running through my head
with every minute of every day with people retecueling you, parents screaming, grades falling, never being good enough, it just gets worse
the feeling just kept growing
it was like cancer; it kept growing and coming back and no one knows how to stop it
i dont even know how to stop it
and it scares the hell out of me because i dont know what im going to do if this feeling doesnt go away
do i take it, do i cut, do i die
i ahve so many options
and if this feeling keeps getting worse
im going to have to pick the last one
its funny because when you have to hide, you learn how to
poeple would never guess i feel like this
and i never want them to know
but one day when i take just a little to far
the cut goes a little to deep
the flame doesnt go out
hte pills dont stop comin
then people will know
and then what will they think...
When you look at me
you would never know th pain i go through
when you see me in the hallway
im always smiling
cause what would the kids think if they really knew the truth
the truth that when i come home at night
i bring out the scissors and the matches
watch the blood drip down my leg
and the puss from the burns ooze out
it hurts like hell but i just cant stop
then i cry myself to sleep
feeling the pain under the covers
i have to do it on my ankles and knees or people will notice
people could still notice now but no one has taken the time to care
so when i wake up in the morning
i put a smile on my face
so people will never notice
or find out the truth
which i learned so well to hide.

~Madii
dont do it
this will only hurt me
call me selfish
but im sorry i care
you call me fake
but the truth is iv been there
its the road less traveled
the one i avoid
iv pooped the pills
iv slit the wrists
i cover them up
its not worth the risk
i keepmit to myself
i try to hide it
but make up wont cover up my scars
these i keep
i hide them every week
so i look away
i turn my head to the matches
that lie under my bed
should i light one..
just a small burn
maybe next time ill learn
i wish i could change
your feelings do matter
the reason i care
well maybe id knowing you were still here
the knife cuts
the blood pours out
it simply leaves a scar
and now youve left your mark
people say things in life arent easy
but nothing can be as hard as this was
hearing that your best friend cant promise if he will be here tomorrow or not
no one can mentally grasp hearing that
your world just stops
all you want to do is tell them how much you care about them but it doesnt work
then what do you do...?
you try to feel his pain
you could careless what people think
you just hope that with every slash you make
it will take one of his away