I refuse for this to be true.
Some things even I can't survive. I utter my first words since
my sister's death. "I don't believe you."
Snow shakes his head in mock disappointment.
"Oh, Miss Everdeen, I
thought we agreed not to lie to each
other."
It takes a long time before I
get to the bottom of why I'm so upset. When I do, it's
almost to mortifying to admit. All those months of taking it for
granted that Peeta thought I was wonderful are over. Finally , he
can see me for who I really am. Violent. Distrustful. Manipulative.
Deadly. And I hate him for
it.
"Can we have
coffee?" asks Finnick.
Steaming cups are handed out. I stare
distastefully at the shiny black liquid, never having been much of
a fan of the stuff, but thinking it might help me stay on my feet.
Finnick sloshes some cream in my cup and reaches into the sugar
bowl. "Want a sugar cube?" he asks in his old seductive
voice. That's how we met, with Finnick offering me sugar.
Surrounded by horses and chariots, costumed and painted for crowds,
before we were allies. Before I had any idea what made him tick.
The memory actually coaxed a smile out of me. "Here, it improves the taste," He says
in his real voice, plunking three cubes in my
cup.
"I think there were
seven altogether," Haymitch says evasively.
I get a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach.
"Who else, Haymitch?" I insist.
Haymitch finally drops the good-natured act.
"You know who else, Katniss. You know who stepped up
first."
Of course I do. Gale.
"No thanks," I say
to the sugar. "I'd love to borrow that outfit sometime,
though."
He's draped in a gloden net that's
strategically knotted at his groin so that he can't technically
be called naked, but he's about as close as you can get.
I'm sure his stylist thinks the more of Finnick the audience
sees, the better.
"You're absolutely terrifying me in
that getup. What happened to the pretty little-girl dresses?"
he asks. He wets his lips just ever so slightly with his tongue.
Probably thinks this drives most people crazy. But for some reason
all I can think of is old Cray, salivating over some poor, starving
young woman.
"I outgrew them." I say.
Finnick takes the collar of my outfit and runs
it between his fingers. "It's too bad about this Quell
thing. You could have made out like a bandit in the Capitol.
Jewels, money, anything you wanted."
"I don't like jewels, and I have more
money than I need. What do you spend all yours on anyway,
Finnick?" I say.
"Oh, I haven't dealt in anything as
common as money for years." Says Finnick.
"Then how do they pay you for the pleasure
of your company?" I ask.
"With secrets," He says softly. He
tips his head so his lips are almost in contact with mine.
"What about you, girl on fire? Do you have any secrets worth
my time?"
For some stupid reason, I blush, but I force
myself to hold my ground. "No, I'm an open book." I
whisper back. "Everyone seems to know my secrets before I know
them myself." He smiles.
"Unfortunately, I think that's true." His eyes
flicker off to the side. "Peeta is coming. Sorry you have to
cancel your wedding. I know how devastating this must be for
you." He tosses another sugar cube in his mouth and saunters
off.
"Hello, Katniss."
he says, as if we've known each other for years, when in fact
we've never met.
"Hello, Finnick." I say, just as
casually, although I'm feeling uncomfortable at his closeness,
especially since he's got so much bare skin exposed.
"Want a sugar cube?" he says,
offering his hand, which is piled high. "They're supposed
to be be for the horses, but who cares? They've got years to
eat sugar, whereas you and I...well,
if we see something sweet, better grab it
quick."
But Finnick has droped his weapons to the
ground.
"Better not exert yourself. Not in your
condition," he says, and reaches down and pats my
abdomen. Oh right.
I'm supposed to be pregnat.
"I'm not glad,"
Says Peeta. "I wish we had waited until the whole thing was
done offically."
This takes Caesar aback. "Surley a breif
time is better than no time?"
"Maybe I'd think that too,
Ceasar," Says Peeta bitterly, "if it weren't for the
baby."
The ground is to bright and shiny and keeps
undulating. I squint down at my feet and see that my metal plate is
surrounded by blue waves that lap up over my boots. Slowly I raise
my eyes and take in the water spreading out in every
direction.
I can only form one clear thought. This is no
place for a girl on fire.