Everyday gets Easier
Chapter 5
Eventually Dani just
left. Walked out. To where? I don't know and I truly
don't care. She usually does that. She'll just walk out
of the house... no explaination. But it doesn't really
matter. So as soon as she leaves I let all of the emotions
loose in my mind. It felt as though a dam in my mind had
broken. Internally I was yelling and screaming for comfort. For
someone, anyone to be there for me. But the truth of it all
is... you can only be there for yourself. No one person will
truly understand the way I feel. But it isn't fair to
expect someone too right? There will always be those people
though, the ones that truly care and are looking out for you. I
could name a few. I call them my best friends.
I suddenly feel an urge of happieness at the thought of my
friends. Friends are the family members you choose. Granted
they are not perfect. No one ever is. But my friends... well
let me just say they are something.
Anyways back to the story....
________
I look up at my clock, 2:30 am. I silently groan to myself. Of
course I can't actually make any noise because I am sharing
my bedroom with my cousin Vanessa. I roll my eyes at the fact
that I have to share my room. Don't get me wrong now, I
love Vanessa more than she realizes, she the sister I never
really had and I love the fact that she lives with us but, I
would like my own space. My room is cramped as it is with one
person... but two? It's insanity! I swear I can barely
squeeze through door that is supposed to be an exit out of the
sweatbox that is my room.... Did I mention that the air
conditioning does not work in my room and my room is the
hottest room in the house? No... well it is! I put my head back
down on my pillow and wrap my body in the tangles of my bed
sheets and body pillow. I bet you are wondering why I am not
asleep.... any sane person would be out like a light by now.
But who said I was completely sane? Well anyways, I just
don't sleep anymore. I mean I sleep a few hours a night but
not much. Maybe like three or four hours a night? It's hard
to tell because I doze from conciousness to unconsiousness. My
mind has a problem "shutting up". My mind never stops
racing trying to solve the puzzle that is my life. So I will
usually just text my best friend Mike and listen to music. Mike
is unlike any of my other friends. He is always there for me.
He was there for me when my aunt died. He was there during the
heartbreaks, the dissapointment, and even the Dani issues. He
has never stopped caring. That is what I love about him. He is
always there for me. No matter what. No matter how complicated
my life gets he's there ready to swarm me in a bear hug.
Although not gonna lie sometimes his bear hugs hurt... he's
a pretty strong guy =). The thoughts in my mind finally began
to slow long enough for me to fall into a temporary sleep.
Author's Note:
Hey to anyone who is reading my story I appreciate it! Plus I
am not writing this little note on the bottom for faves. But I
would appreciate any suggestions because I know this story does
not seem like it has a plot but does life really have a
definite beginning, middle, and end? This is semi-true story so
if you don't like it thats fine. I would still like your
opinion. However, I am not asking for fave. I am not writing to
get "faves". I am writing to be understood.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Everyday gets Easier
Chapter 4
Part 2
She nodded
in excitment. "Okay well it is my drug dealer. His
name is Dan. We are texting about prices!" I grin at my
response and I can't help but laugh! Me and
a drug dealer? A drug dealer and I?Hahahaha Too funny! I
swear I am the biggest goodie too shoes out there! Of
course this only infuriated her more.
"Okay druggie! Be suspicious and do not tell me. I
mean really? I am your older sister. You are supposed to tell
me EVERYTHING! DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THAT!?!?!?! IT IS A
PRIVILEGE FOR YOU TO BE MY SISTER!" She replied with
rage.
Choose the right words. But when I went reply
with my mouth completely open I closed it, knowing that I would
be better off by not saying anything. You are better
off not saying anything at all. So I just wired my
mouth shut and just stood there. Frozen. Statuesque. She began
to maliciously laugh.
"I swear Peyton. You do not even understand
how geat it is to have me as a sister. I am the
sister your friends dream of." The thing is though she is
right. Many of my friends including Emma tell me how
"Oh Dani is so nice!", "She is so nice
to everyone", "How could you not like her?", and
"I can't see your sister doing that! You must be
mistaken"... I have heard it all. My sister puts on a good
show for my friends doesn't she? Or maybe she just enjoys
making me feel worthless. Either way here we are. Almost
everyday. In the kitchen where Dani yet again rips me
to pieces until I am bare and exposed.
You would think I would get used to it? But the truth is you
never do. You never get used to the verbal abuse. It is like a
cut in your heart. When people are constantly putting you down,
especially your family who are the few people on this Earth
that are supposed to care for you, it is like someone is
pulling at the cut. At first you just let it go. But then, the
worst part of it all is that it sinks in. You feel every
emotion that is said through thoughs words. Anger,
frustration, disappointment, disapproval. All there and more.
Then you begin to question yourself. Am I really that
annoying?
Everyday gets
Easier
Chapter 3
Finally! The best part of
the school day... when it's over duh! I grab my books out of
my gym locker and race out of that stench whole as quickly as
possible. I wave goodbye to my friends and slip on my headphones.
Music definition:
Indefinable by words alone. It is not only something you hear but
what you feel. It is something your soul can reach out and touch.
It originates from all over the world since time began. Complex
or simple, fast or slow, loud or soft. It is what you feel, or it
could be your method of escape or it could just keep you
alive.
That is what music means to me. Seclusion from all of the drama
around me. Seclusion from people who are just fake and from
people who thrive on all the drama around them.
As I jump on the bus I accidently trip and all my papers fly into
the air. Typical Peyton. Way to
be. I roll my eyes at myself and start scrambling for
my history notes before they fly away.
“Here let me help
you with that.” I look up at the unrecognizable voice
before me. My eyes go wide as I look at him. Brian. How could I
not recognize his voice? Brian is the kindest and polite guy that
I have ever met. He has the best personality in the world and
plus he isn’t something bad to look at either. ;) He gave
me one of his extraordinary smiles and helped me pick up the rest
of my books and notes.
“Uhmmm Thanks
Brian. I appreciate it.”
“No problem Pey.
Anything for someone in need.” As he said this my heart
melted. He’s such a gentlemen. I felt my heart
stop. But let’s face it he would never fall for me.
Look at me. I’m Ugly and I am a freshman, he’s a
junior. How would that ever work out? My thought were
interrupted by a small tear running down my cheek and a hand on
my shoulder. “Peyton…. What is it? What’s
wrong? Are you hurt?”
I looked into his
BEaUtiful eyes. Deep pools of dark chocolate and just wiped the
tear off my face. “I am fine. I uhhh just scraped my knee
badly. I’ll see you later.” I replied a little too
quickly and I jumped onto my bus leaving him there stunned and
bewildered.
“Alright Peyton. I
guess I will see you later…” his voice faded from my
hearing as I slipped my headphones back on since they fell off
when I tripped. Why are you getting so worked up? It’s
a boy. Just a boy! You barely know him and come on Pey. You
don’t want a replay of what happened to you last time you
liked a guy. I slipped on my Ray-Bans and tried to forget
how much I just embarrassed myself. I have come to learn a few
things in my short fifteen years of my life concerning love since
I have only truly loved someone once. Yes it’s true you are
never too young to fall in love but, falling in love hurts. All
that happens is you fall for someone (and boy did I fall hard)
and with luck they fall for you too. But you can never really
tell if they do. That’s the problem with guys you get me?
They never fully just come up to you and say I like you. Why
would they ever do that? Maybe they just have too much fun
leading on girls instead of being honest when they don’t
like us. But I have learned my lesson. That’s why my heart
and soul are locked up. Waiting for someone to have my key in
there heart.