She's so
pathetic. Let me tell you something about Janis Ian. We were best
friends in middle school. I know, right? It's so
embarrassing. I don't even... Whatever. So then in eighth
grade, I started going out with my first boyfriend Kyle who was
totally gorgeous but then he moved to Indiana, and Janis was
like, weirdly jealous of him. Like, if I would blow her off to
hang out with Kyle, she'd be like, "Why didn't you
call me back?" And I'd be like, "Why are you so
obsessed with me?" So then, for my birthday party, which was
an all-girls pool party, I was like, "Janis, I can't
invite you, because I think you're lesbian." I mean I
couldn't have a lesbian at my party. There were gonna be
girls there in their *bathing suits*. I mean, right? She was a
LESBIAN. So then her mom called my mom and started yelling at
her, it was so retarded. And then she dropped out of school
because no one would talk to her, and she came back in the fall
for high school, all of her hair was cut off and she was totally
weird, and now I guess she's on crack.
-Mean Girls