It's not really when
you feel sad.
Or even when you feel angry.
To be honest...I'm not quite sure what it is, but I know its
there.
It's not the weight of the world or the random sobbing.
Or the hatred and irritation to those around you.
It's the blankness.
The blankness when you sit there and stare at the wall.
And one moment you are laughing, smiling, but then...
you feel your mind slipping away, and your thoughts disappear,
and your feelings with it
and your friends and family beg you to speak, to eat, to sleep,
but you can't because you
don't feel you need it.
It's the blankness.
It's the feeling of not even realizing you're numb, until
the second when you realize you
aren't laughing at something you used to cry happiness over.
It's the dread of doing
something you once spent every waking hour wishing to do.
It's the blankness. It's the feeling of every little
touch, every word amplified into a
screaming, searing sound that you want to slap every helping hand
away.
And it's when you do, that you feel guilty.
It's the blankness.
It's not depression, or anger, or suicidal thoughts. It's
the blankness, the emptiness, the
confusion of fog.
It's the blankness that
controls us all.