I know this is going to be long
It's been 2 months, 1 week and 4 days since my grandfather
He was my rock.
He wrote in his will that when he dies, my father and I get all
of his belongings.
His house, land, business, everything.
So, my dad told me that it would, finacially, be better for our
family to sell our house and move into my grandfather's beat
This house is literally hanging on by a thread, it's ready to
go any minute and my father told me he's going to make me
live in it?
Eventually we got our stuff all packed up, sold our house and
moved into this beat up old shack.
Yesterday we got to the house and started a bonfire in the
backyard to just chill and stuff.
We went inside and started to clean out the house so we could put
our stuff in it.
I started going through my grandfathers clothes, expecting to put
them into boxes and put them into the garage,
my dad came in and told me to just go out back and throw them in
I was so surprised.
I asked him why and he started to yell about the fact that we
arent hoarders and we dont keep worthless sh*t around our
This was his father's house, his clothes.
They had this sort of smell to them. When you walked into his
house, all you can smell is him.
Most people, wouldn't like the smell, but I love it.
His clothes smell of beer, cigars, and just his own body
My father piled up the clothes, shoved them into my hands and
told me to go throw them into the fire.
I took the clothes ouside, toward the fire.
Just when I was going to thrwo them in the fire, a gust of wind
The wind pushed the smell of him into my face.
It was then that I realized I was crying,
I wiped the tears from my face and ran into the shed.
I hid his clothes in a giant empty box and went back inside.
When I came in, I saw my father ripping up the tiles on the floor
and some of his friends carrying my grandfathers couch outside to
I was about to stop them when they ran past me and threw the
couch in the fire.
I watched as the couch burned.
I know it's just a couch,
but that was my grandfathers couch.
That was the couch that I sat on with him and held his hand while
he told me how sorry he was for leaving me.
I sat on that couch with him for hours telling him he was going
to be alright,
I stayed overnight for a year when he was sick and layed with him
on that couch and just held him.
Nobody knew how much he meant to me, or that I was over there for
a year taking care of him
and I don't think they care.
I knew that he cared.
I had so many memories on that couch and I stood there in the
doorway and watched it burn
and my father didn't even care.
He acted like everything was alright.
Later, he told me to take my grandfathers bed out to the fire to
I couldn't believe it.
He was burning basically everything my grandfather ever
Didn't he care at all?!
That night, I was laying in my bed.
I couldn't sleep.
I went out to the living room to watch tv and I found my father
crying on our couch.
My father, doesnt cry, ever, but I found him that night, letting
it all out.
He sat there and told me how much he regretted burning all of
that stuff today.
I sat there and talked with him.
When he calmed down a little but I told him I was going in my
rroma dn he should probably go in his and get some sleep.
But he didn't.
He ran out the back door and to the burn pile.
He got down on the ground, sobbing and dug threw the ashes.
I told him to stop, because it was no use, but he wouldn't,
so I just stayed there with him and waited till he was done.
A couple minutes later he stopped and pulled out something, furry
A teddy bear.
It was the teddy bear that his father gave to him when he was a
It was amazingly the only thing that didnt burn.
Just black from the ashes.
He took it inside and threw it in the washing machine and went to
I stayed up that night thinking about my grandfather and that
little teddy bear.
I love you Grandpa.
It's hard now, but everthing will get better soon.
Rest in Paradise, Leonard Edward Maker.
13, 1953 - January 19, 2012