“Don’t doubt
me,” she said.
“You still need
to believe in me I’m not like this,” she spoke
with tears trembling down her check.
Those same old words
always came out of her mouth. She had changed and not for the
better, but the worse. School had become less important to her, her
friends and family were slowly slipping away from here and she
didn’t even realize it. Her life had gone from
everything playing in her favor to everything just falling apart
and getting herself into the biggest mess possible. She hated it.
She turned from this sweet little girl who always loved her
family and would do nothing to disappoint them to yelling at people
over the stupidest little things. She has become this self centered
little 8th grade brat. She’s hating every
single second of what she is going through right now.
Fighting with her friends and feeling like no one could cares about
her or her problems. Trying to act all the mature and
in a rush to grow up when really all she is acting childish
and without her head in the clouds. The one person she
thought she would never lose….. her mom. The one person she
could turn to with anything and everything and just when they have
gotten closer she goes and ruins it and she doesn’t trust her
own oldest daughter anymore. Her life is just a body walking
absently doing the same routines everyday wakeup, school,
home, fighting with her parents, crying herself to sleep and
repeat. She’s so worried about trying to fight in when
she knows that she is different and needs to make a difference to
stand out that’s why she is a bigger girl, with a family who
used to love her. Walking the halls of her school, she
knows that her world is slowing falling apart and her trying to
make it better will only make it worse. If you really study
her and look at her you will know deep down she’s hurting but
is just really good at not showing it. Her present is living
hell. Who knows what her future is going to be like.
Everything is becoming so inaudible when it seemed to be
just so clear. A smile? What’s that? She
can’t remember the last time she didn't have to care about nothing hurting
her and she could just live and enjoy her life. She has messed up
so bad that fate isn’t even on her side anymore. Her
life has become such a mess, and hates every second of it.
All the adults in the her life say its just a phase. Oh
really? A phase of thinking she found herself? A phase her
family pretty much shutting them out of her life? A phase where no
one trusts her? Just a phase.
story i wrote for la .. pretty much about my life right now...
yeahh its fuckkkkedd up right now.