mrstomlinson98

i should have known 
that i would fly
to crash and burn all over again

Thank you one direction for every thing
every joke every smile every award we got together
every video diary and song every tweet
for making us feel beautiful irreplaceable even if you don't know us
for saving lives and wiping away tears for turning cuts into scars
for hunting strangers from ends of the world into this crazy but wonderful random which has become some what of a second famiy to most of us
for all the memories and moments that only we will remember and the ones the world will
thanks for beipng true to yourself because in the end that's who we fell in love with
thanks for these 3 amazing years and here's to many more to come
love
directioners

what good is the warmth of summer, without the cold of winter to give it it's sweetness

the memories will hit you hard 
they will slap you across your face, 
slam into your jaw and knee you in the gut
and just when you're bent over,
feeling the intensity of that final blow
and your feet are about to give away,
the memories will stab you in the back and leave you to bleed on the cold floor

they will not be kind to you 

and after some time you will realize 
that it's not about fighting back those memories
but learning to dodge the attacks

sadness is familiar it feels like home it is safe
do you get why i hate beimg happy again now?
because i know it's going to end

they say home is where your heart is set in stone
is where you go when you're alone
its where you go to rest your bones

it's not just where you lay your head 
it's not just where you make your bed
as long as we're together does it matter where we go?

HOME 

its been a while since everyday and everything has felt this right

lights will guide you home 
and ingnite your home
and i will try to fix you 

tell the world i'm coming home
let the rain wash away all the pain of yesterday
and  know my kingdom awaits 
and they've forgiven my mistakes 
i'm coming home

i survived freshman year wooooo
so much has happened and i can't even imagine its been a year already
i've moved to a new school, a new country, a new hemisphere
i've learned who my best friends are becuase they are the ones who bothered to communicate with me despite how annoying the time difference got
i've made wonderful friends i love them so much who knew you could make such bonds within a year.
they truly mean a lot to me and i hope they know it. i never thought i'd make friends here people who i care about and love never in a million years 
but here i am
i'm finally happy in school it's not like i didn't have friends before 
but for once in my entire life i'm a little sad to leave my school friends behind for the summer
it's no longer bye see you when i'm forced to again.
some bad things have happened with this year too. 
i miss my dad terribly
i started cutting and its getting more frequent and deeper with every day but for today i have hope. for today i know that someone will fix me one day that they'll put all the broken pieces together and it'll be ok.
for today i won't be a butterfly killer for today i won't drag a razor blade across my skin
my anxiety has gotten worse this year to it's making a come back i don't know why maybe it's because everything is so new maybe maybe i really don't know
but for today i am happy
within a few hours i'l be heading home or i think it's home 
i wonder if that question will ever leave my mind
but for now it's ok to know that i'm going back to my dad, my best friends and most importantly candy jk but really though
while i'm being all cheesy i'll thank everyone who believed in me and loved me even when i'm such a hard person to love. i promise one day i'll make your effort worthwhile
feeling strangely at peace with the world 
and wondering how long it's going to last
-suni