mrstomlinson98

seems like the only one who doesn't see your beauty is the face in the mirror looking back at you
and your tied together with a smile but your coming undone

even if you are scared be brave,
speak even if your voice shakes 
stand even if your knees quake
smile even if your heart aches
and things will work out

what doesn't kill you...

leaves scars
ruins your lungs
dries out all your tears
leaves you lying awake at 4 in the morning 
wishing it had killed you 

you're never alone,okay?

someone somewhere cares about you and wants you to be alright

even if it is a random person you just met on the internet 

you are LOVED 

don't forget that 

 

i love witty it makes me happy you guys make me happy thanks for being there when I'm down it means a lot :)

i feel so worthless no one cares about me no one loves me why should they i'm nothing special
i get bad grades in school
and don't get invited to any of the cool parties
i'm not artistically skilled or good at any sports
i'm surrounded by people who are so good at everything they shine out and excel in every little thing they do. they're special
i don't even think my mom even believes i'll get far in life that i'll amount to something better than this shell of a person.
so why should i?

you only know you've been high when your feeling low
only hit the road when your missing home

i don't get help because i am the helper

Maybe I've been goin' back too much lately When time stood still and I had you

the story of my life

well i don't know if there is a story so i'll just tell you everything that has happened do far. 

on november 15th 1998 the crazy me was bron into the world. i don't rememb.er much from those days it was just a very happy blur. and then somewhere around the time i was 7 we won the green ticket lottery this was kind of a huge deaql so many people try for it and only a select few get chossen we were one of the lucky few. it basically means you get an automatic visa and residence in most countries. a month or so later we were packing up the only home i had ever known and moving across the world. i was quite small and i didn't realize the full impact of this. we were leaving our family and friends behind to move to a huge country where we knew virtually no one. at first we leaved in my aunt's tiny apartment but things got complicated and we moved out. everyhthing is patched up between them now but back then things were rough. we had not met any sri lankan people (my nationaity) until one day i got lost in walmart ( i know) and was calling to my dad in sri lankan another uncle came up thinking i was his daughter ewho also had happened to get lost. this was the crazy way i met my best friend and therefore a whole community that made me feel at home. i settled in and i was happy and at home everything was perfect until seventh grade when everything started going down hill. we found out that my grandad was in the last stage of cancer and six months later we lost him to it. i saw my dad who was the strongest man i know cry for the very first time in my entire life. my dad had always been a smoker my entire life and even though i hated it it was nothing new and then a week after my school started he had a heart attack and it was terryfing my mom left me and my bro at home and all our friends swept in to keep our minds off it. i think i might have gone crazy if it wasn't for them. i was split up from all my friends at school and was bullied occasionally. but after a while it was too much my life was falling apart. you might think i started hurting myself but i didn't thats not my story i developed and anxiety disorder. maybe because of everything or maybe it was always there. but i became petrified of everything i couldn;t even walk out of my room. i started drifting away from everyone and i didn't enjoy anything anyymore. going outside for school even scared me. the weirdest things wqould send me into panick attacks where i couldn't breath and sometimes i even fainted. my parents were terrified. over time i dedcided that it was ruining my life and slowly i faced my fears and it started to go away the panick attacks were less frequent and i was getting better. that makes it sound really easy which it was opposite off. i'll never be the same again and i still have to deal with in my everyday life. then in 9th grade we packed up and we all moved back to sri lanka. now im adjusting ot being away from all the people i care about. funny isn;t it how everything changed from the beggining. how i didn;t want to go back. thats where i am now. and i'm adjusting and still recovering but no one here knows. but life will get better and i'm happy and sad now but thats how everythings supposed to be
thats all sorry for the rant