nessaxox

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Joined: November 17, 2011
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 239601
 They scream louder this time,
and there's nothing you can do.
You know you are everything they never wanted,
And it's just so clear to you.

Pulsing music from your iPod drowns there voices out,
but you know that it won't stop them from fighting;
just from you hearing their sickening blowout.

You think of the days they were so happy,
and wonder if it was all your fault.
Maybe if you had just been beautiful,
you're mom might've tried to halt.
Maybe if you had gotten straight A's,
you're dad would've cared for you,
instead of only hurting you.

You've tried so long for them to see,
all you've ever wanted was them to be,
what every other family always had.
But your cries and pleas have only left you hopeless, broken and sad.

So once again you open that same drawer you sadly know too well,
and grab that magical blade that'll solve everything, for now.
You lift up your long sleeve and put your only true friend against your fair skin.
Just one cut, 
you close your eyes shut.

One tear slips down your vulnerable face,
just one tear you let escape.
And then you see those flashbacks once again,
of the times your father made sure you knew,
no one will ever want you.

So you let that blade break through your skin,
and hope to God you'll eventually be okay.

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I take away beauty
I take away lives
I tear apart families
You’ll live in my lies

You’ll cover me up,
with sleeves
I’ll isolate you-
or at least that’s what it seems

you’ll feel so deserted
you’ll feel so alone
I’ll drive you insane
I’ll make you feel numb
yet my pain you just can’t get enough of

the pleasure the pain 
the release that you feel
maybe you’ll need stitches
just so "it" will heal

the more you use me
the deeper you slide in
the more blood you see;
the deeper your drawing begins

I’ll help you draw the lines
I’ll help you pain stars
and the more you abuse me
the more I’ll leave scars

but if I cause you death
you blame me
you took me in hand
this I know you can see

I’m caused by depression
Mr. Razor's my name
you can try to cover me up
but I’ll still leave an emotional stain

so don’t dare forget me
remember my name
you’ll be thinking it later
as you cry out in pain


 
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Quotes by nessaxox

i'm...

- uglyyyyyyyyy

-i'm quite ugly.


-i'm okay.


-getting there


- pretty.


10 
- stunning.


15+ 
- flawless.

you tell me, and repost

this to find out what you

are:-)
Comment your name on this quote and I'll write a comment on your profile with the name f/m name that matches yours!♥❤ 
If I get over 50 hearts I'll post my real facebook.
Confession No5.)
I used to cry myself to sleep most of the time, it was my
daily ritual; to wake up, stare at myself in the mirror and thrown at
what I saw, I was ashamed of the way I looked, the person I had become,
I was ashamed of myself. I hated myself. However now, when I wake up
Now it's my daily ritual; to wake up, and just smile and feel lucky to have the
life I have not anyone else's, I'm lucky God even gave me life. Some people
would have killed to be in my position, and I am grateful for every little thing
life brings.. because everything always happens for a reason. I am aware of 
the fact that not every element of my life is perfect, but everything just keeps
getting better(: and I am thankful for everything life has brought me, because
without it I wouldn't have met the amazing people I have met now:)
I'm so lucky, and so are every one of you. I wish I could share
all of my commitment to my life with everyone who needs it, because there's 
enough for everyone to feel happy about themselves:)

-Nessa
Confession No4.)
I miss my best friend, I really do. Lucy if you are 
reading this, then I'm so sorry for everything I did
that upset you, I was the biggest b#tch walking the
planet, I feel as though I've grown out of what I used to be.
Life has really challenged me, I see you everyday at school
and sometimes can't help to look at the mess we've become.
I felt happier when we were friends. Now it's been over a year
since we've actually spoken properly. I really don't want to waste
our friendship, we was best friends since Year3, and we always
used to promise 'Best friends forever' I remember when we used
to cry during the school holidays because we missed eachother.
We were on the phone all of the time. There is no-one that I did the
things I did with you. You was the most perfect best friend anyone could
ask for, you always cheered me up. There was never a time where I
would cry and you wouldn't be there to make smile. I'm crying writing
this because I don't think I'll ever find a perfect friend like you.
So please forgive me.. I miss you xxx

-Nessa
Confession No3.)
I haven't cut since 15/02/2012 which was my birthday.
It was the day my Mum found out about it, she began to
question me, and she went furious, I began then to feel
ashamed of myself and felt pity, as she assured me that
she loves me forever, thats when she kissed me and held me
in her arms and said ''I don't ever want my baby to feel hurt,
especially I don't want my baby to hurt herself.'' It was probobally
the most emotional moment of my life and it has really got me
close with my Mother, and I can assure you that I love her to pieces
and I will never do what I did again:-) She's proud of me, but not as
proud as I am for having the best Mum alive:)

-Nessa♡
Confession No2.)
I can't stand feeling like I'm just his second choice
she cheated on him, so he came crying to me, I was 
always there for him. He tells me I'm beautiful, and that
it's impossible to go a day without talking to me, I feel 
exactly the same way,or maybe even more; but I feel as
though I'm just his back up plan. Sometimes I wonder why
he ignores me when she's arround. Maybe some guys just
go for the orange fake girls.. Well whatever that is; I'm staying
natural me, and I will never change for anyone:-)

-Nessa
Confession No1.)
I am very insecure about what people think about me
and always feel very nervous after I've done something 
that would give someone an opportunity to judge me, 
so I always pray that they have forgotten. I try to be the
best person I can be, but people still feel the right to
say bad things about me, we're human, we all make 
mistakes, you're not perfect either so why.. are you
judging me for my past?

-Nessa
Heart this for 
True, Honest, Witty
Confessions.

-nessa
Yesterday, someone asked me why I have butterflies all over my arms..
I replied, ''because they keep me here,where i am, right now.''