nopatience

Status: if you are a pink polka dotted hippo, you are my new best friend. :) hi. need a hand?
Joined: November 22, 2011
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 241692
Gender: F

221 Quotes
4,644 Favorites
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76 Followers
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There are things about me few get to find out... Are you willing to try and break down the walls?
I build walls to see who is strong enough to break them down.
I love volleyball, tennis, and art.
But music is my life.
I go from classical to H o l l y w o o d U n d e a d in a nano-second.
Care to join me? :)
If you are looking for boring, go somewhere else.

hi,my name is a mystery
and my life consists of witty, friends, and piano.
so if you wanna witty friend to love you for who you are im free for venting :)
post on my profile <3 cuz ill always be here for you no matter who you are
ps: highlight above

Quotes by nopatience

Parents spend the first part of our lives
teaching us how to walk and talk

and the rest of it tellin us to sit down
and shut up.

6 0

nopatience
funny

EY.

BRO.

WHERE THE H*ELL
ARE ALL THE COOL
FORMATS.

I SEE NONE.

0 0

nopatience
funny

At A Family Party

Grandma: So... what'chya got there, sonny?

Cousin: A rubix cube...?

Grandma: Cool... Got girls as friends?

Cousin: Yeah...?

Grandma: oh, good. Good. Got a girlfriend?

Cousin: No.

Grandma: So these girls you're friends with... they are just friends?

Cousin: Yes Grandma.

Grandma: And you've got your rubix cube?

Cousin: Yes...?

Grandma: You can figure it out. You must have a lot of time on your hands since you don't have a girlfriend.

Cousin: What are you trying to get at, Grandma?

Grandma: *places hand on knee* It's okay to be gay.

Me:
Cousin:
Santa:
Mom:
Harry Styles:
Wes Stromberg:
Obama:
Grandpa:
The old crank pot down the street:
Crocodile in Australia:
Abraham Lincoln:
Bambi:
Everyone Previously Mentioned: *falls off of chairs laughing and spills everything on the counters, tables, and plates*

10 0

nopatience
funny

Hey dad, you got any condoms? I'm going to need protection for when I go clubbing later ;)

Your face is protection enough.

nmf, followme *best dad ever

237 2

nopatience
funny

So I went to the store,
on Monday,
to buy... things.

Me: *stands awkwardly and miserably at the cash register where there is an insanely hot cashier who's like 18 and an old fat security guard standing nearby for god knows what reason*
Cashier: *starts checking out my tampons, tissues, toilet paper, and nose spray*
Security Guard: *starts cracking up*
Me: *awkward death glare that's not as menicing as I wanted it to be*
Cashier: *dying of laughter*
Security Guard: Well, you've got liquid comin' outta all your holes!
Cashier: *literally falls over from laughing so hard*
Me: *blushes*
Me: *secretly hiding laughter*
Me: *grabs a paper bag, rips 2 holes out, and puts it on my head*
Me: *walks away silently without taking any of the stuff I'd originally wanted to buy*
Me: *gets to the car*
Me: *dies*
Mom: where's all the stuff you needed?
Me: don't. ask. just. drive.
Mom: well sh*t I'll do it you p*ssy
Mom: *gets out of car*

~~~ 15 minutes later ~~~

Mom: *gets in car with a blush*
Me: it happened to you too?
Mom: shut the h*ll up.