Please don't commit. you think no one will miss you but your
wrong. Please just read this, I know it's long. But please.
You�re sitting in your room ~ door locked ~ with a pen
in your hand and a blank piece of paper infront of you. Your hand
is shaking, and the tears begin again - for the third time in the
past hour. �To my family� you write at the
top of the page, but decide it�s a bad way to begin
your letter ~ your suicide letter. You try again, start over ~
again and again, but you don�t know where to
begin.
No one understands you; no one knows what you�re going
through, you�re alone or at least that�s
what you think. Nobody would care if you�re alive or
not, you mean nothing to nobody. It�s night, and you
slip into bed. �Goodbye� you whisper into
the darkness. And with that, you take your last breathe and end it
all. No body cares, right?
Well you thought wrong. It�s a Tuesday the following
morning, and when it�s 7:21, your mother comes and
knocks on your door. She doesn�t know you
can�t hear her she doesn�t know
you�regone. She knocks a few more times, calling your
name to open up. When there is no reply from your side of the door,
she opens it and screams.
She collapses on the ground while your dad rushes to your room.
Your siblings have already left for school. Your very weak mother
collects all the energy she�s got which is close to
nothing to walk over to your bed.
She leans over your dead body, crying, squeezing your hand,
screaming. Your dad is trying to stay strong, but the tears escape
his eyes; calling 000 or 911 with his left hand while his other one
is on your mother�s back. Your mother blames herself.
All those times she had said �no� to you,
all those times she had screamed at you, and sent you to your room
over something stupid. Your father will blame himself for not being
there for you when you asked for help, for being away from home at
work for long.
Nobody cares, right? 8:34. There�s a knock on your
classroom door it�s the school principle. She looks
more worried than ever. She calls the teacher to the side; all the
students worried: what�s going on? The principle then
later announces about your suicide. The popular girl that always
called you fat and ugly is now blaming herself. The kid that would
always copy your homework but treat you like crap ~
he�s blaming himself.
The boy that sits behind you ~ the one that always threw things at
you during class ~ he�s blaming himself too. The
teacher is blaming herself - for all those times she�d
scream at you for forgetting your homework, or not listening in
class. People are crying, screaming, shocked, in regret of what
they did. They�ll all be devastated - even the kids
you�ve never talked to before.
Still nobody cares about you, right? Your siblings get home. Your
mother has to tell them that you�re gone; forever. Your
little sister ~ no matter how many times she�s screamed
at you, told you she hated you and stole your stuff ~ always loved
you, and saw you as her hero; her role model. She now starts to
blame herself; why didn�t I do what she told me to do
when she told me to?
Why did I take her stuff even when she asked me not to? This is all
my fault. Your brother gets home ~ the boy that never cries.
He�s now in his room; mad at himself ~ he caused your
death. All those times he�d played pranks on you.
He�s punching holes in his wall, turning over things;
he doesn�t know how to deal with the fact that
you�re gone. Forever. Nobody cares about you, right?
Right? It has been over a month.
The door to your room has been closed all this time. Everything is
different now. Your brother has to be sent to anger management
classes, your little sister cries everyday still waiting for you to
come back. Everyday she waits for you to come back home. The
popular girls have now turned anorexic. They don�t know
how to deal with the pain that they�re
feeling.
Your father has depression; your mother hasn�t slept
for nights it�s all her fault. She�s been
crying and screaming every night wishing for you to come
back.
The boy who would always bother you dropped out of school. The boy
that copied your homework now cuts. But nobody cares about you,
aren�t I right? Your mother finally decides to go clean
out your room. But she can�t do it.
She�s locked herself in your room for two days to try
to clean up your clothes, your things. But she can�t
she can�t say goodbye to you, not yet, not now. Never.
It�s your funeral. It�s a big one ~
everybody comes. No one knows what to say.
The beautiful girl with the big smile is gone; you�re
somewhere else. No one knows what to say, they�re all
still shocked. Everyone cries, everyone misses you. They all wish
you�d come back but you don�t, and you
won�t. Still think nobody cares about you? Think
again.
Even if people don�t show it, they care about you, they
love you. If you kill yourself today or any other day you
won�t know just how much you meant to people. If you
kill yourself today, it stops your pain, but it pains all the ones
who know you for the rest of their life. Suicide is the easy way
out - but it�s the wrong choice.
Life is beautiful. Yes, it does have its ups and downs everyone has
their bad days. Sometimes people go through tough times in their
lives like you�re probably going through now but bad
times come and go. You might not see the light at the end of the
tunnel, but it�s there.
No matter how hard life gets, never give up on yourself, or on your
life. Take a minute now, and think. If you killed yourself ~ how
would the people that love you feel/go through?
Can�t think of anything?
Well I�ll tell you: tears, tears, and more
tears.
Devastation.
Guilt.
Pain.
Broken.
Regret.
Miserable.
If after reading this you still feel suicidal, there are people
that can help you. I�m here for you whenever you need
me, and I�ll be more than happy to listen to you and
try to help you feel better.
There are teachers, parents, grandparents, neighbors, adults,
councilors ~ they�re all there for you whenever you
need them.
& I am here too.
Never forget that. Your witty family is here for you, always.
*NOT MINE* Just thought that more people needed to read
this. It seriously made me cry