ohx0itslovexo

Status:
Joined: April 7, 2009
Last Seen: 1 decade
user id: 72784

I'm Megan and I'm a freshman(:
gymnastics&cheer are my thing.
varsity cheer at BCHS!!
i'm a little crazy at times,but you'll
get used to it. i completely over-use
smiley faces. i'm pretty friendly(:
i'm just me,& i'm not changing
for anyone♥ get to know me! :D

loves; quotes,my friends,sneaking out past curfew,writting,
getting kissed in the rain,holding hands,music,facebook,
justin bieber,nevershoutnever,gymnastics,cheerleading,
giving advice,having fun! ♥ & moree(;

dislikes; boyfriend stealers,people who lie to me,girls
who try to start drama,doing the dishes,country music,
death metal/screamo,people who cannot talk things
out with me,soccer,watching football games,uhmm
forgetting where i put things haha &more!

habits i need to breakk; biting my nails,getting in fights
with my padre,checking my phone every two seconds ;D

soo yeahh that's a little bit about me,if you have any
questions don't hesitate to ask! but if you don't wanna
ask me here hit me up at www.formspring.me/ilyxrawr23

 

Quotes by ohx0itslovexo

I never thought that this day would come. The musky air of the gym,the laughing of the girls,the chalky hands,the unbearable pain that I somehow seemed to live through. Thirteen years in the making. It had become part of me,but I was still left with this decision. Is enough enough? Two bad knees,faulty wrists,aching ankles,teared up palms,bruised legs,and one pulled lower back. The decision should be obvious. It was time to throw in the towel. Thirteen years of injuries scarred my body and reminded me what my life has been consumed of since I was two years old. The captivating,yet painful sport of gymnastics. I longed for a social life and endless days of relaxing. I thought I knew what I wanted...to quit gymnastics.

 

Decisions like these aren’t easy,people always asking...”do you do gymnastics still?” Having to answer no was heartbreaking. How could thirteen years of sweat,blood and tears end up like this? A washed-up gymnast with nothing to show for it. No level 8 regionals,no elite gymnastics,no olympics. Have these years been wasted? I was extremely capable of doing all of those things,but does there come a point when you settle for good enough and stop trying to be great? A collection of ribbons,medals,and trophies now sit in a box; no longer displayed throughout my room. They were just too painful to look at. They were too much of a reminder of who I used to be and what I used to do. But in my mind,they were a reminder of how I had failed. I failed my coaches,my parents,my family,my friends...myself. 


(don't read if you don't want. I just need to save this somewhere!)

Dear 20 Confessions,
My biggest mistake. Oh my damn,I swear i could go on and on. In a sentence, breaking up with him. You see i was going out with jourdon for six months then we got in a fight and i wasn't thinking and i broke up with him.  Everyone thought we were gunna go back out like we always did and so did we but this time I screwed it up and went out with josh the next day. But throughout the relationship I still loved jourdon. So when I broke up with josh,me and jourdon acted like we were a couple. and everyone thought that we were. we just never made it official and the whole summer we were with each other all the time. then one day he just flipped and stopped talking to me. since then it's been a whole on off talking to each other thing and i can't take it anymore. i screwed things up and i hurt him sooo badly,I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for that. he still wanted me and i still wanted him but i didn't fully go back to him. i was so stupid because now I'm starting to lose him. we're starting to talk again but i can't help but think what things would be like if everything played out differently. like he still wanted to go out even though we were going to different high schools. i swear I'm a horrible person. i hurt so many people without meaning to.


Dear 20 Confessions,
Who do I miss the most? I miss KatieAnna Groody. I met her at gymnastics when I was little. She was older by 8 years,I looked up to her. Well one night at practice my mom was driving me home and she said to me, "Megan,I have to tell you something. KatieAnna died in a car accident Friday Night." I remember bawling my eyes out and screaming like crazy. Screaming things like "Why did she have to die? " "Why did God take Katie away from me?" "Why didn't her friend who was driving the car die instead of her?!" She was an optional level gymnast when I was in level 4. She was my role model and to this day I miss her like crazy. It's been five years as of September 16th and I still cry just thinking about her. She was 16 when she died,she died two days after her birthday. I remember going to her wake and trying to stay strong,all the gymnastics girls were there. She looked so fake,not herself. And to this day I have the picture engraved in my mind. I didn't cry until I got to her mother and father. I was wearing the shirts she made our whole gym a few weeks before the accident. Her mom said "Katie would've loved seeing you wear that shirt. I know she'd be proud of you." That's when I completely lost it. That summer they had a scholarship in her name,which paid for a full week at Camp Woodward. A gymnastics camp. I was the first girl to win that award and I'll always be proud of it. We had to write an essay about why we want to go to woodward,then her parents would read it. I was nine when i wrote it,and I won. Every day I think about Katie and I miss her so freaking much it's unbelievable. She was a huge inspiration to me and thanks to her I've been doing gymnastics for almost 13 years. She keeps me going. I am so glad I got to meet her. I could go on and on about what an amazing person she was but I think I'll leave it at this. (:


Dear 20 Confessions,
My biggest fear is not ever being good enough. My whole life has been based on perfection and I'm tired of it. But I'm afraid that no one will ever love me because I'm not good enough. I don't feel like I'm good enough for my dad either. The other night I overheard him telling my mom that he's going to stop talking to me and that my grades don't matter to him anymore and that he just doesn't care anymore. I was crying when I heard that. How could he be so cruel to his own daughter? I never feel like I'm thin enough ever more...my dad would call me fat all the time and since then I've never felt pretty. I'm afraid that I'll never be good enough for a guy. Am I too clingy? Am I not pretty enough? Do I deserve him? Will I mess everything up? Ughh I hate this,I don't think I'll ever feel good enough for anyone. I can't always meet my expectations let alone other people's.


20 Confessions in 20 Days
1- Your Biggest Fear
2- Who you miss the most
3- Your religion
4- your biggest mistake
5- a love
6- who hurt you the most
7- your worst habbit
8- your current relationship status
9- who you like
10- why you like them ^
11- where everything went wrong
12- your dreams
13- happiest moment of your life

14- your favorite person
15- why you last cried
16- why you were last in the hospital
17- who you last kissed
18- Your best friend
19- How you could change your past
20- Why are you writing this?

Guidelines: Everything you must write has to be the length of a paragraph. Address your letters to "Dear 20 Confessions" The date must be written on everyone. At the end of the 20 days, You can do whatever you want with these confessions, but the most popular thing to do with them is to burn the notebook, as if the confessions are no longer inside.

 
 
Everyone says that love hurts,
but that's not true.
Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts.
Losing someone hurts. Everyone confuses
these with love. but in reality

LOVE
is the only thing in this world
that covers up all the pain,

and makes us feel
wonderful again





**old quote

 
 

Day Five: 6 things I wish I've never done.
-of course there's a lot of thing i wish I've never done 
but right now i don't really want to or need to focus on
the bad things. because in the end...it all made me stronger(:
Day Four: 7 things that cross my mind a lot.
-what happens when i die
-will i ever be good enough?
-why is my dad so mean to me?
-will i make an impact on someone's life?
-losing the people in my life that mean the most to me
-will i ever be truly happy?
-him <3