shellsh0ck*

ATTENTION ALL WITTIANS

Witty is empty and saddening since last year. 
Let's make this year different and make witty alive again!

What you need to do:
- find as many inactive accounts as you can
- find contact info and contact them, reminding them about witty

- Tell your friends and family about witty!
-Advertise witty on your tumblr, twitter, facebook, instagram, fansites! anything!

-REQUOTE THIS AND SPREAD THE WORD


Please help witty to be a big, fun and happy family once more <3

-Thank you-
 

its kinda scary how your whole life depends on how well you do as a teenager

Life Hacks. From iFunny,

#001
A handicapped parking
spot needs a sign to be valid.
If it just has a wheelchair
painted on the ground, you
can legally park there.

#002
Running low on battery?
Put your phone on airplane
mode and it'll charge much
faster.

#003
Fold your receipt around the
gift card to always
know the balance.

#004
If you want to download
a YouTube video, just add "ss"
to the URL between www.
and YouTube.

#005
Use a spring from an old
pen to keep your charger from
bending or breaking.

#006
Have a good twenty minute work
out in the morning. Then you
can be lazy for the rest of the day
without feeling guilty.

#007
Mixing alcohol with diet
coke will get  you more drunk
than mixing it with
regular coke.

#008
Tell people to pick a number
between 12 and 5, 95% of
people choose seven (because
they automatically subtract it).

#009
Make a password into a goal
of yours so you constantly have
to be reminded of it.

#010
Sugar can cure a burnt
tongue.

#011
When a friend is venting
to  you, sometimes it's better
to stay silent instead of
trying to give advice.

#012
Putting your phone on airplane
mode will stop ads while
playing games.

#013
Mosquito bite? Press a hot
spoon onto the spot. The heat
will destroy the reaction and
the itching will stop.

#014
Need some free WiFi? The
best places to go are Panera,
McDonalds, Apple Store, Office
Depot, Staples, and Courtyard
Marriott.

#015
Have left over coffee from
this morning? Make coffee ice
cubes. Can be used to cool iced
coffee without diluting it.

#016
If the taxi driver asks if
you're "from around here,"
lie and say yes- sometimes they
drive farther (driving up the
price) for tourists.

#017
Going to a bar? Start by
giving the bartender a $20 tip.
You'll get amazing service the
rest of the night.

#018
If you ever get caught sleeping
on the job or in school, slowly
raise your head and say "In
Jesus' name, amen."

#019
Wrinkly shirt? Throw it in
the dryer with a few ice cubes
for 5 minutes. Wrinkles gone.

#020
If you pay $65, you can register
your dog as an "Emotional
Support Animal" & it'll be illegal
for landlords to refuse to
rent to you.

#021
If you chew gum when you
study a subject and then chew
the same flavor when you
take the test it can help
you remember.

#022
On 7/11, 7-Eleven gives
out free slurpees in honor
of it.

#023
Put pancake mix in a Ketchup
bottle for a clean no-mess
experience.

#024
If you bought something
on Amazon and the price goes
down within 30 days you can
e-mail them and they will
send you the difference.

#025
A cure for headaches: Take a
lime, cut it in half, and rub it on
your forehead. The throbbing
should go away.

#026
If you ever go to a zoo,
wear the same colors as the
employees do. The animals will
come right up to you instead
of backing away.

#027
You can turn an old CD spindle
into a unique bagel holder.

#028
Don't want to be embarrassed
when buying something? Buy
a birthday card with it.

#029
Feeling ugly? Go sit in
Wal-Mart for 2 hours. You will
feel a lot better.

#030
On www.Supercook.com
you just enter what ingredients
you have and it tells you what
meals you have and how
to make them.

#031
If a disk is skipping, rub
a banana over it to seal the
scratches. Remember to wipe
it off before you stick it
back in.

#032
Need to tell a believable lie?
Include an embarrassing detail,
nobody doubts a story that
makes you look dumb.

#033
If you ever get trapped
underwater in your car, use
your carseat headrest to
break the window.

#034
If someone presses all of
the buttons on the elevator, you
can avoid stopping on each floor
by pressing each button
again twice.

#035
Getting nauseous from reading
in the car? Tilt your head side
to side and it'll go away.

#036
In areas with lots of stoplights,
going exactly the speed
limit will help you hit
more green lights.

#037
You can heal paper
cuts and immediately stop the
pain with chapstick.

#038
When ordering coffee, ask
for a medium in a large cup.
They'll likely accidentally over
fill it and you'll get a cheap
large coffee.

#039
If you mess up a voicemail
to someone, press "#" to erase
and re-record.

#040
When someone new is
hanging out with you and your
friends, call your friends by their
names so the new person has a
chance to memorize them.

#041
Want to park somewhere
you're not allowed to park?
Keep the envelope from a
parking ticket and put it under
your windshield wipers.

#042
If you have a tough decision
flip a coin, not to decide for
you, but you'll realize what you
really want when it's in the air.

#043
Lick your wrist and smell
it. This is what your breath
smells like to others.

#044
If you accidentally close a
tab, close+shift+t reopens it.

#045
If you ever get kidnapped
and they tie your hands together
and put tape over your mouth,
lick the tape until it falls off.

SO ON VALENTINES DAY MY TEACHER WAS ASKING THESE KIDS IF THEY ARE IN LOVE AND SHE CALLED ON THIS ASIAN GUY NAMED YANG AND SHE ASKED “ARE YOU IN LOVE???” AND HE SAID NO AND THIS RANDOM KID SAID “DON’T WORRY YANG ONE DAY YOU’LL FIND YOUR YIN.

It is terrifying to think that one day you will trust somebody enough to let them see you naked. You will undress and remind them that you’ve stretch marks and birth marks and scars from having chicken pox when you were little and scars from all of the other things now. You will blush thousands of shades of red, painting yourself as a rose losing its petals. And that person - that person will take it all in. And I wonder if they will reassure you. But mostly, I wonder if they will even see anything worth reassuring you about. I hope they see each freckle on your back as if it’s a star and you are the whole universe to them

What if you wake up one morning and you’re in bed with the love of your life and they have their arm around you and their snoring like a fcking a.ss hole, but you can’t help but to smile and you hear a baby crying and it finally hits you, you’ve made it. you beat the demons inside you, the voices, the darkness. I look forward to that, to knowing I made it.