why must education be
so stressful? honestly i feel as though i'm falling
into a dark pit of confusion and stress at the thought of my exam
tomorrow.
nice.
when i was younger, i
tried incredibly hard to learn new words. alturistic, ineffable,
lithe, sempiternal, euphonious. but now I lack the motivation to
learn new words, new languages; and that scares me
intensely.
it scares me how much has changed in a year. it scares me that
this time last year i was with someone that was completely
manipulating me and i didn't realise. it scares me that this time
last year i had isolated myself from everyone. it scares me that
last year i didn't think anyone would ever love me. it's scary
how things change, because now i don't see or even speak to that
person. i now have everyone i love close. i'm now in a steady
relationship. it's scary how things change in such a short space
of time.
tomorrow, you could get hit by a car and die. today, even. we are
vulnerable without realising and there's nothing we can do.
we never know when it's going to end. why waste time
wondering what if. let people know that you love them and let
them know you apreiate them. tell that person that you think
their eyes are pretty or that you'd really like to kiss them.
tell the person you like that you think they are wonderful. go
out and run in fields. dye your hair that weird colour, don't
think about peoples' reactions. live your life, because
one day, you won't be able to.
I am constantly torn
between thinking
I am too good or not good enough.
I have days where I look at myself and think,
'God. you're perfect'.
I have days where I look at myself
and I want to tear my skin to shreds because all I see is
touching thighs
big hips
stretch marks
fat arms.
I am in a constant cycle of confusion and hatred
because I cannot decide
if I am too beautiful, or not beautiful
enough
have you
ever...?
bold the ones you've done
(i'm bored
-graduated high
school -smoked a cigarette
-gotten so drunk you passed out
-rode every ride at an amusement park -collected something really stupid -gone to a rock concert -helped someone -gone fishing -watched four movies in one night
-gone long periods of time without sleep
-snorted cocaine
-failed a class -smoked weed
-dealt drugs
-been in a car accident
-been in a tornado -done hard drugs
-watched someone die -been to a funeral -burned yourself
-ran a marathon -cried yourself to sleep
-spent $200+ dollars in one day -flown on an aeroplane
-cheated on someone -been cheated on
-written a ten page letter
-gone skiing
-been sailing -cut yourself by accident
-cut yourself on purpose
-had a best friend
-lost a loved one -shoplifted something
-been to jail -skipped school
-skipped a class -had detention
-gotten in trouble for something you didn't do
-stolen books from the library
-gone to a foreign country
-dropped out of school
-been in a mental hospital -watched the harry potter
movies
-had an online diary
-fired a gun
-had a yard sale
-had a lemonade sale
-actually made money at the lemonade sale -been in a school play
-been fired from a job
-taken a lie detector test
-swam with dolphins
-gone to sea world -voted for someone on a reality tv show -written poetry -read more than 20 books in a year -gone to europe
-loved someone you can't have
-used a coloring book over age twelve -had surgery
-had stitches -taken a taxi
-seen the washington monument -had more than five online conversations going at
once
-overdosed
-had a drug or alcohol problem
-been in a fist fight
-suffered any form of abuse
-gone surfing in california -had a hamster
-pet a wild animal
-used a credit card
-did spirit day at your school -dyed your hair
-got a tattoo -had something pierced
-got straight a's
-been on the honor roll
-known someone with hiv or aids -drank alcohol -cried when someone died -felt someone up/got felt up
-kissed someone
-went farther than kissing someone
-been in love
-been heartbroken
-missed your ex
Thomas Edison’s
last words were: “It’s very beautiful over
there.” I don’t know where there is, but I believe
it’s somewhere, and I hope it’s
beautiful.