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I am in desperate need of a social life

I never thought it was possible to eat *too much* chocolate

And then I broke my leg

• guy1- (sad)

• guy2-y r u sad?

• guy1-guy3 died didnt u hear?

• guy2- o really? howd he die?

• guy1-he was smoking...

• guy2 -so he got cancer?

• guy 1- no, he was smoking in bed and the sheet caught on fire...

• guy2- so he died in the fire?

• guy1 - no, he called 911...

• guy2- they didnt come?

• guy1- no the firemen came...

• guy2- so they saved him?

• guy1- no they put out a trampoline...

• guy 2- so he missed?

• guy 1- no he hit the trampoline...

• guy2- so he hit it so hard, he died?

• guy 1- no he bounced on it...

• guy 2- did he bounce onto the ground?

• guy 1- no he bounced back into the apartment...

• guy2- so the fire killed him?

• guy1- no he jumped back out...

• guy2- did he miss this time?

• guy 1- no he bounced bak into the apartment again...

• guy1- he kept bouncing from the trampoline to the apartment

• guy 1- over and over again...

• guy 2- so how did he die?

• guy 1- oh, the firemen got so tired that they shot him
 

Some of the worst mistakes in my life have been haircuts

~Jim Morrison~

I'm the type of person who laughs at horror movies
and screams when the toaster pops