pinkypromise_xo

Breaking down is scary.

all at once, everything starts storming through your head. and you can't stop it. you know it's coming, so you push as hard as you can not to start crying. but then it all hits you. you have just enough energy to get up real quick, shut your door and turn off the lights, and turn your tv up loud, because you can't handle listening to music you can relate to right now. then you fall. you feel lost. broken. you can't stand up, you can't see, and your stomach feels like it's gonna fall out. your trying to grasp on to something to keep you from falling apart anymore. you can feel the tears roll down your cheeks like a waterfall. those veins in your forhead are throbbing. your nose is all stuffy, so you can't breathe because you can't stop crying. then after you stand up, your literally holding yourself together with your arms crossing eachother over your stomach. you wobble to the mirror and don't know what your looking at. that girl used to be all happy, and pretty. now she looks miserable and ugly. she's weak now. she doesn't want to be though. she tries hard to say "relax, sweetheart, it's okay." you stopped crying now, but the pain is still in your eyes. you tear up a little, but you tell yourself no. your head is pounding, and you still can't see clearly. you feel like you failed. so you roll up into bed, under the covers and fall asleep, even if it's mid day. because you have had enough of reality for one day.