pleasespeaktomyface

Status: shoutout to my haters sorry that you couldnt phase me.
Joined: October 20, 2011
Last Seen: 1 decade
Birthday: October 3
user id: 229154

Hey there. I'm Emily and I'm a stupid ho who likes to fuck shit up (:

Quotes by pleasespeaktomyface

Before the holidays: There's no place like home!
After 2 days: I hate everyone who loves me.





You dumped me for another chick.
Have a great motherf ucking holiday to you too, sir.
 
 






Coffee is that magical substance
that turns, "Leave me alone or die," into "Good morning sunshine!"
 
 






What's red and bad for your teeth?
A brick.
 
 






I tried being anorexic for four hours.
Then I was like, "I need some chips."
 
 






My cousin works at a coffee shop.
Today, she put "Marry Me," in some random chick's coffee. The chick fainted, and her boyfriend almost did too.
 
 






I am a believer
in love at first sight.






My dad gave my brother $1 for milk every day.
A week ago, he told us he was donating it to Sandy victims and drinking from the water fountian. So, not all 10-year-old kids are part of the 'doomed generation.' So stop calling them that.

*not mine, just thought it was cute ~
 
 

"Save the Planet" Foundation: 2 members.
"Save the Twinkies" Foundation: The entire freaking country.
How I should eat chocolate: I'll eat one piece now and save the rest for later.
How I really eat chocolate: I ate 26 candy bars. What have I done.
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