If you really knew
You'd know that I don't like who I am. You would know
I'm a self-harmer who is forever searching for new ways to
hurt themselves. You'd know that suicide never really leaves
my head though sometimes I realise I don't want to die just
yet. If you really knew me, you'd know, instead of crying I
shake and can't breathe like I should be able to, though when
that happens, I tell people I'm crying because it sounds
weird otherwise. If you really knew me you'd
know I was bullied for my whole life up until aged 11. If you
really knew me you'd know my memories haunt me so much.
If you really knew me you'd know I build
walls to keep people out. If you really knew me
you'd know I'm constantly drugged up on med's that
make me feel all but nothing. If you really knew
me you'd know that I don't call myself fat or
ugly for attention, I really really mean it. if you
really knew me, you'd know despite the fact I suck
at advice, I'll always always always be someone to listen.
If you really knew me, you'd know I scare
myself and I don't trust myself because I am able to do some
very horrible things. But then again, I guess I really don't
know who I am myself.